Time and Space Continuim

Can't believe my last blog was January!

Due to unreliable internet here I have now an aversion to battle with this blog with my extremely erratic internet provider.  Tempting to update this at work but not sure if Penelope P would be welcomed on the History of my work files!

So, for the first half of this year.. where's it gone? There must be some physics to explain how quickly the beginning of each goes.. and as you get older.. how quicker they seem to go!

All in all has been an interesting and exciting time.

Highlights have included having my own radio slot with a friend on the local Port Douglas radio station.  It was called Hump Day (on Wednesdays from 5-7 pm ) and I shared the slot with the girl I worked with.  It was sadly short lived as my colleague and fellow DJ left 3 weeks later to work as an anchor woman on a local TV News Station.. so there went my foray into DJ'ing and local radio broadcasting.

Did my first Rock interview and interviewed Dave Gleeson of the Screaming Jets for the local magazine.  Such a lovely guy - I have to say I was a bit nervous, being my first time, but I think I came out the other side with my dignity and professional ethics intact.   I remember in 1992 being asked if I wanted to go and see the Screaming Jets and sadly didn't take the gorgeous guy that asked me up on his offer.  Funnily  enough, I am still in contact with him and I told him about this, and he said... "well, I obviously wasn't very good at pursuading you to come!' - though he can't remember.  Always makes me laugh how one person can remember very clearly certain events and the other person doesn't.

So there I was all set to go out and and see them play this time around.. press pass to the ready (saving $70!) and all set to see this legend of a band.  Then a friend comes round and starts to pour her heart out how her and her boyfriend have just split up.. and yep... I missed it!  One of the biggest Australian Rock Bands..with free entry!  Still, I hope that me being there for my friend gave more to human kind than watching a rock band..

Seems I have been doomed never to see the Screaming Jets!

Screaming Jets... Better.. you'll know this one!



I was the first commentator ever to commentate on a Yabasume event outside of Japan.  And if you are wondering Yabusame isn't connected with flowers or folding paper.  It's a sumurai skill of riding a horse and firing arrows at a target.  Quite a spectacular site.  The Australian, Japanese and Malaysian teams where there and made a dramatic site galloping down the beach in all their finery.  The crowd was estimated to be around 3,000 and was quite a draw.


My commentary to the first Yabusame event outside Japan




Next blog..

I have a man arriving on Monday - Darryl -  (yep.. in 24 hours!!) .. we have never met, we have chatted almost every day for a month (met him on Badoo)...  He is flying up from Coffs Harbour (2,000 + Km away) and I am so nervous and yet very excited.  He seems to be just wonderful.  Not only does he think I'm wonderful (how important is that!.. but we laugh a lot and he just seems to be a total sweety (but not in a vomit get the bucket type of way).   Bit worried that he thinks I am 42 - he is 37, but I am sure we will do a lot of talking in the 4 days that he is staying.  He seems to be the kind of guy that I would feel comfortable telling anything!

I will update after he has gone... he's so sweet he said he was worried what I would think of him as he hasn't been surfing recently so he isn't as sun tanned and as buff as he normally would be... from what I see from his photos.. he looks pretty good to me!  I daren't say that all my photos have been taken with the best lighting angle, with me sucking in my spare tyre and I of course, only sent the nicest shots to him!  And that to be honest, he says he is nervous,.... I'm actually highly nervous as I am so worried that we have built this picture up of each other - big kisses goodnight (no sexy photos or sex talk!) and we seem to be so on the same wavelength - that if it did go tits up when he stays I would severely question my ability of judgement and instinct.

Flung into January with a whirlwind

Yes, I've tried Plenty of Fish, RSVP, Zoosk dating sites.

A friend who stayed mentioned about a phone app called Badoo.  Because Tony recommended it I thought 'ah, a friendship site not based on sexual hookups'.

So after downloading off I go 'cruising'.  It allows you to go through all the pictures and click if you like them.  On the flip side the men do this on the other side.  And hey presto.. up comes pictures of your mutually attracted suitors.

I was quite surprised at the standard and ended up clicking a few.  Though was disappointed that my clicked men were dispersed all over the coutnry.  And Australia's a big country.  I thought it would be easier to search regionally.

The messages came in thick and fast (didn't realise that ALL my photos had been downloaded by Badoo from my Facebook and I ended up having about 56 photos on my profile pictures!).

My first 'encounter' started off well with a guy who lived an hour away.  We chatted, he seemed nice (and good looking) and we thought it might be good to meet up for a drink or a coffee.... and then..........  "can I ask if you will do something special for me"... I thought.. "here it comes".  So this man had a fantasy of wanting a stranger to just find him and watch him please himself.  At first I thought 'oh well, I can just meet up and look the other way and then go for a drink or coffee'.. But after he asked if he could come on my hands or my bare breasts I realised that my involvement was being sought, and gazing at background scenery wasn't going to cut it.  When I said I would meet without acting out the scenario I thought the message had sunk in.  So after a few days when he mentioned a possible rendez vous date , a message out of the blue came up "well, you can just watch then".

I didn't reply.

Another message popped up showing a tight , muscle bound torso and a man I wouldn't normally go for with a profile description:

"I am looking to contact women who have more than just beauty.  Who have a soul and where intelligence and spirit create this".

Ah!  A man with intelligence and not into the superficiality of trawling for sex that some men on these sites have as their modus operandi.

It was even refreshing that when we first chatted he asked if we could talk on the phone... how strange that sounded.. I do believe phones should now be renamed texters, people just don't want to talk on the phone anymore.  It has been scientifically proven that much of an attraction a woman has with a man is his voice and that you can tell a lot by someone consciously or subconsciously.

So here beginneth the marathon phone conversations.. (thank goodness for viber and Skype).  Christof is French from Nice, scaringly intelligent, 2 Masters Degrees and now studying for his PhD in Brisbane. He arrived 8 months ago and talks amazingly good English.  He is a man that has a high intellect and is a unique character.

He never asked anything sleazy and seemed genuine.  Our conversations became much more closer, not by topic but just the feeling that we were forging a bond.  The conversation turned to him coming to see me.

With an earlier aside saying that if all went well he would pay for me to go to Brazil with him, I thought that he didn't seem to strapped for cash.  I did say "let's just see how it goes" (though highly excited about the prospect of course). So a flight to Port Douglas woudln't put too much of a stress on his wallet.

He said he had a two week holiday coming up and would look to come up then.  It was initially for a couple of weeks (bit of a worry for a man I've never met).  He said he would surprise me when he was going to arrive.

Before I knew it I had a text saying he had booked it, but for only 5 days.

Texts continued to be exchanged

"I'm sure our love will grow up it doesn't matter why n how we are going to live together'

"I am so proud and blessed to be in your life"

"Bonjour love, here's your morning kiss"

"Hello Princess"

"Thank you for your picture of the view from the boat, I looked at it and imagined me standing behind you holding you and looking out with you'

On talking about staying he said he just wanted to cuddle me.

Maybe too good to be true.  I initially thought well it can't be a scam, he hasn't asked for money.

When I asked about other women he said that he does meet women when he rarely goes out to clubs and pubs (four times since he has been here) and each time has been asked back for coffee.. and then gets up and leaves - probably escorted to the door by a shocked, gaping women, who was reworking her definition of "come back for coffee'.  He genuinley just goes for coffee as he doesn't follow up with women unless he feels they are special.

So for him to throw all this love and attention at me bowled me over!

Then he slipped off the radar for a couple of days.. I was tempted to do the "Are you ok' messaging but thought I would play it cool.  So a message "Im so sorry been in the hospital for 2 days" was a bit of a shock.  He didn't want to talk about it straight away "Sorry just don't feel good to talk cos I had bad news and am trying to believe it'.

Later the next day he said he was ok to talk ... seems that they have found a cancer tumour in his stomach and he needs to get it attended to urgently.

He was already complaining about feeling tired before - which, to me shows that his body is fighting something.  He still goes to the gym, but saying that he was so tired.

The day we chatted about his cancer was the day that he said he was due to arrive here in Port Douglas as a suprise to me.  Obviously that trip is now curtailed with another trip to the hospital on Monday for more tests.

He is 30 years old, fit and mixed in with that slight overbearingness of the French is a beautiful, sensitive man who believes in love and soul partners and wants to be there.  He has an old head on young shoulders and seemed to be strong with it and is wanting to fight it.

This has all happened over a period of 2 weeks..

I have been holding back emotionally with my sensible head on.

My sensible head and my stupid head merged today.. I have continued to message with men that contacted me from Badoo - well, today I accidentally texted back an inocuous message "Ah, so you live in Sydney", which poor Christof received as a text message  - while receiving the restults of tests .  He replied with a  "what?"


Yep.. sent it to Christof by mistake.

Oh dear..  did the shit hit the fan!  So much shit I couldn't see the fan.

Yes, I am getting emotionally very involved with Christof, if it happened to me I would be upset.. but I don't consider two weeks, never met, never had sex is a committed relationship.  But for Christof who was literally declaring undying love it struck him hard.

So after discussing and talking - his first text was "I feel so down and disappointed. Good luck was lovely knowing you.  N thanks for everything".

Finally, after some similar texts and "Promise I'm not going to meet anyone else anymore. Happy to be by myself"  I didn't reply.

Then a message "When u have the time u can call me" - the white flag!

This evening we had make up sex over the phone, I think he has forgiven me (for my sins!). I'm off all the chat and dating sites now and realise how special he is.

Yep.. cerebally I did nothing wrong,  we weren't in a relationship, I've never even met him.  But to be true to myself and him, yes, there is an emotional involvement and that did compromise what we both believed was happening to us.

I think we are back on track.. for what -  is a worry.... it's a long road ahead.. with his cancer and our distance apart (only an hour away on a plane, but $300 round trip, could be the biggest hiccup for me).

Christof says he is going to use all his money to fight this... so with paying privatley for  a lengthy cancer treatment even Christof coming to see me might be more of an expense for him.

I don't know if I'm being highly stupid or if jumping off the deep end and just going with the flow is going to leave me up the proverbial shit creek -  (I am well aware of keeping my head whilst losing my heart... haha famous last words!).

It could be a rocky ride.. strap myself in...

Flung into January with a whirlwind

Yes, I've tried Plenty of Fish, RSVP, Zoosk dating sites.

A friend who stayed mentioned about a phone app called Badoo.  Because Tony recommended it I thought 'ah, a friendship site not based on sexual hookups'.

So after downloading off I go 'cruising'.  It allows you to go through all the pictures and click if you like them.  On the flip side the men do this on the other side.  And hey presto.. up comes pictures of your mutually attracted suitors.

I was quite surprised at the standard and ended up clicking a few.  Though was disappointed that my clicked men were dispersed all over the coutnry.  And that's a big country.  I thought it was more a regional thing.

The messages came in thick and fast (didn't realise that ALL my photos had been downloaded by Badoo and I ended up having about 56 photos on my profile pictures!).

My first 'encounter' started off well with a guy who lived an hour away.  We chatted he seemed nice and we thought it might be good to meet up for a drink or a coffee.... and then..........  "can you ask if you will do something special for me"... I thought.. "here it comes".  So this man had a fantasy of wanting a stranger to just find him and watch him please himself.  At first i thought oh well, I can just meet up and look the other way and then go for a drink or coffe.. But after he asked if he could come on my hands or my bare breasts I realised that my involvement was being sought.  When I said I would meet without acting out the scenario I thought the message had sunk in.  So after a few days were mentioned as possible rendez vous dates a message out of the blue came up "well, you can just watch then".

I didn't reply.

Another message popped up showing a tight torso and a man I wouldn't normally go for with a profile description:

"I am looking to contact women who have more than just beauty.  Who have a soul and where intelligence and spirit create this".

Ah!  A man with intelligence and not into the superficiality of trawling for sex that some men on these sites have as their modus operandi.

It was even refreshing that when we first chatted he asked if we could talk on the phone... how strange that sounded.. I do believe phones should now be texters, people just don't want to talk on the phone.  It has been scientifically proven that much of an attraction a woman has with a man is his voice and that you can tell a lot by someone consciously or unconsciously.

So here beginneth the marathon phone conversations.. (thank goodness for viber and Skype).  Christof is French from Nice, scaringly intelligent, 2 Masters Degrees and now studying for his PhD in Brisbane. He arrived 8 months ago and talks amazingly good English.  He is a man that has a high intellect and is a unique character.

He never asked anything sleazy and seemed genuine.  Our conversations became much more closer, not by topic but just the feeling that we were forging a bond.  The conversation turned to him coming to see me.

With an earlier aside saying that if all went well he would pay for me to go to Brazil with him, I thought that he didn't seem to strapped for cash.  I did say "let's just see how it goes" (though highly excited about the prospect of course). So a flight to Port Douglas didn't put too much of a stress on his wallet.

He said he had a two week holiday coming up and would look to come up then.  It was initially for a couple of weeks (bit of a worry for a man I've never met).  He said he would surprise me when he was going to arrive.

Before I knew it I had a text saying he had booked it, but for only 5 days.

Texts continued to be exchanged

"I'm sure our love will grow up it doesn't matter why n how we are going to live together'

"I am so proud and blessed to be in your life"

"Bonjour love, here's your morning kiss"

"Hello Princess"

"Thank you for your picture of the view from the boat, I looked at it and imagined me standing behind you holding you and looking out with you'

On talking about staying he said he just wanted to cuddle me.

Maybe too good to be true.  I initially thought well it can't be a scam, he hasn't asked for money.

When I asked about other women he said that he does meet women out and goes for coffee.. and then gets up and leaves after the coffee.  He genuinly just goes for coffee as he doesn't follow up with women unless he feels they are special.

So for him to throw all this love and attention at me bowled me over!

Then he slipped off the radar for a couple of days.. I was tempted to do the "Are you ok' messaging but thought I would play it cool.  So a message "Im so sorry been in the hospital for 2 days" was a bit of a shock.  He didn't want to talk about it straight away "Sorry just don't feel good to talk cos I had band new and am trying to believe it'.

Later the next day he said he was ok to talk ... seems that they have found a cancer tumour in his stomach and he needs to get it attended to urgently.

He was already complaining about feeling tired before - which, to me shows that his body is fighting something.  He still goes to the gym, but saying that he was so tired.

The day we chatted about his cancer was the day that he said he was due to arrive here in Port Douglas as a suprise to me.  Obviously that trip is now curtailed with another trip to the hospital on Monday for more tests.

He is 30 years old, fit and mixed in with that slight overbearingness of the French is a beautiful, sensitive man who believes in love and soul partners and wants to be there.  He has an old head on young shoulders and seemed to be strong with it and is wanting to fight it.

This has all happened over a period of 2 weeks..

I have been holding back emotionally with my sensible head on.

My sensible head and my stupid head merged today.. I have continued to message with men that contact me from Badoo - well, today I accidentally texted back an inocuous message "Ah, so you live in Sydney", which poor Christof received while receiving the restults of tests with the reply "what?"


Yep.. sent it to Christof by mistake.

Oh dear..  did the shit hit the fan!  So much shit I couldn't see the fan.

Yes, I am getting emotionally very involved with Christof, if it happened to me I would be upset.. but I don't consider two weeks, never met, never had sex is a committed relationship.  But for Christof who was literally declaring undying love it struck him hard.

So after discussing and talking - his first text was "I feel so down and disappointed. Good luck was lovely knowing you.  N thanks for everything".

Finally, after some similar texts and "Promise I'm not going to meet anyone else anymore. Happy to be by myself"  I didn't reply.

Then a message "When u have the time u can call me" - the white flag!

This evening we had make up sex over the phone, I think he has forgiven me (for my sins!). I'm off all the chat and dating sites now and realise how special he is.

Yep.. cerebally I did nothing wrong,  we weren't in a relationship, I've never even met him.  But to be true to myself and him, yes, there is an emotional involvement and that did compromise what we both believed was happening to us.

I think we are back on track.. for what is a worry.... it's a long road ahead.. with his cancer and our distance apart (only an hour away on a plane, but $300 round trip, could be the biggest hiccup for me).

Christof says he is going to use all his money to fight this... so with private health on a lengthy cancer treatment even Christof coming to see me might be more of an expense for him.

I don't know if I'm being highly stupid or if jumping off the deep end and just going with the flow (I am well aware of keeping my head whilst losing my heart... haha famous last words!).

It could be a rocky ride.. strap myself in...

New Year Reolutions!

Not to make any!!

Resolutions - Nope.. just setting myself up for failure!

I try and think at the end of the year what I have achieved or what I have experienced new.. so here they are:

• I tasted S.American Cherries
• I started liking crocodile and laksa meat pies
• I Officiated for the first time as a wedding celebrant
• First job as a Commercial Diver
• I have never had a 6 ft roll of paper whcih had printed on it a naked man .. along with that I have never had a photocopy of a blown up enis in my car either (the game for the hen's function that I was organising.
• Ah , yes first time I have organised a hen night!
• I discovered the great uses of epoxy glue that can be used in such a multitude of different ways.
• My first permanent stall of my driftwood items.
• Developed my natural product range to include heel balm hangover cure, multi-cleaner, face spritzer
• Attended my first basket ball game
• First time to swim in an aboriginal birthing lake
• First job working on a local newspaper - and magazine.. columns written, photos published..
• Had a bunch of flower given to me (well' that doesn't happen every year.. believe me!)
• My photos and columns published.  Written my first columns on Food and Wine , Beauty, Theatre review..
• First time dancing on a beach at a disco in Ibiza
• First time that I have ever lost my luggage.... (returned to me after a 2 months!).
• First time I spent Christmas by myself
• I started to get into the routine of yoghurt and fruit in the morning for breakfast
• I swam my first km and continue to swim it most weeks this year...
• I had my first anti-aging treatment, which lasted for about 4 months.. (the vampire facial) - given free as part of a beauty piece I was writing
• First and last time I'll ever be Aunty of the Groom at a wedding!
• First time I've traveled half way across the world with the ashes of a relative in my suitcase
• First time I've been kissed by twins on both cheeks (and both rather attractive ones!)
• First discovery of a silver hair... now I know why it's called 'silver'. I can't believe one hair can refract so much light, like someone polished it with silver polish.  Daren't pull it out in case 20 come back in the same place.

What a wonderful year back to Ibiza to spend with my second family and how wonderful to go to my nephew's wedding.

I had some wonderful guests:
The Mother of my exboyfriend who died from a heroin overdose.  She came for a week and we had a lovely time.

Tony - A friend a met 10 years ago in Honduras as he invited me for drinks on his yacht (yep that's what I call a chat up line).  We have been friends since then (never went to the yacht). He has stayed in the past with me and my ex boyfriend in London and Costa Rica.  How refreshing was his visit and made for another first.. winning 4 trivia quiz games in a row (yep.. 2 of them was just us two).  Made me realise how important an intellectually stimulating and interesting man is.  We got on so well - was worried that his initial comment of coming for a month might have been overkill.  But it ended up being 2 weeks and was just wonderful very day.

As another year starts I also have some new friends.. and can only think.. bring it on 2014!

Christmas over Phew! and The New Year Awaits

Had an interesting Christmas.  My first ever one alone..

Most people I knew were spending it with their relatives or partners.

I tried to think of it as 'just another day'.  So in the morning I attacked the garden and did some therapueutic gardening.  Lunch I had some chicken... but I was a little upset when I happened to tidy up and found my Aunt Joan's ashes.  I sat on the bed and hugged them with the reassuring thought that I spent Christmas with my Aunt, who I was very close to.... though did end up having a bit of a sob.

My friend did mention about going round there, but since she has got back with her husband he is keeping her on a tight leash so I don't see her much.  A message from him saying 'Happy Christmas and see you in the New Year' gave me the message that I wasn't welcome to go round that day.

One benefit of being alone was that whilst everyone was having their Christmas lunch I popped across the road to Peppers Beach Resort and swam 1km unhindered by anybody in the pool.

I read my book and relaxed in the tropical sun and thought 'mmm not so bad for a Christmas day'.

Due to time difference I was able to spend time chatting with friends and relatives on Skype on the evening and enjoy their day.

Was relieved when I sank into bed that night that Christmas Day was over.

With now the dilemma of New Year fast approaching.

One white themed rave party or hanging out in a few bars didn't really grab me in any nether regions or inspire me.

My friend "P" (see 17th January post)  (a friend who I met through Plenty of Fish a year ago almost to the day) emerged out of the woodwork so I invited him to Port Douglas.  Now, just to be clear, we are purely friends and there has not been any physical contact or exchange of any bodily fluids.

I then thought that since I was staying in the backpackers (my house was being rented out) it wasn't condusive so I mentioned about going to see him in Cairns.

So that's how I found myself driving over to Cairns on Dec 24th with the instructions 'wear some clothes for the motorbike'.  Looks like we were going to cruise on his Harley cruiser to see the fireworks.  So after digging up some jeans and boots which haven't seen light of day in the tropical sun up here (if jeans and boot could blink and squint, they would have).

After arriving in my best attire with the comments "I can always dress down" he said that it wasn't perhaps such a good idea to drive a motorbike around on New Year's Eve. I was hoping he might take the Thunderbird.. imagining me seeing the new year in the seat of a 50's classic convertible, but no, I think is was the Land Rover we ended up riding in.

A lovely night was had chatting me drinking (he was driving so just watching me!) and I thoroughly enjoyed such lovely chilled, great company, wonderful sites for the last day of the year in the company of an interesting man.

"P" is an interesting man.. he was a multi-millionaire with a chain of electrical goods warehouses throughout Australia.  He worked as a stripper on the boats in Sydney harbour and as a bouncer in the clubs in the notorious Kings Cross.  He is South African, and after nearly dying and breaking his back in a fall and a long time of rehabilitation he now spends every morning watching the sunrise to appreciate each new day.  I find him stimulating, interesting and easy to spend time with.  I do get the feeling though that he can be rather intense at times and I think long term I would like somebody who was a little more open humoured and supportive,  as I feel my old reflexes kicking in of making me hypercritical of myself as I feel that is how he is viewing me..  He is a very kind and considerate man and has a heart of gold.  But,  bottom line I don't think he feels anything towards me.  I don't feel that extra je ne sais quoi of sparkle and warmth.  So, I would rather be a friend with him than ruin it with a misguided foray into a more physical relationship.  Maybe if he was a bit more endearing towards me or gave me the proper signs I might find myself encouraged to be more enthusiastic and would change my perspective.



Back at his house we sent to bed and it was lovely feeling him lying next to me (we have slept in the same bed together before).  I snuggled a bit closer and our hands touched and I did feel a slight tingle of arousal.........

He was feeling his sap rising and as he turned to continue the urges he saw my beautiful face asleep and snoring!

(That's how he described it to me the next day)

The next morning I woke next to an empty space - he'd gone to see the sunrise with the dog.

On his return we went for a lovely breakfast overlooking the sea and a forest of palm trees....

What a fitting start to 2014!

Men, friends with benefits (and without) and rebounds...

Don't know what to call this post... bit of a blaaaaah!

Last week was referred to as the 'older attractive woman', by a young man.. yes youth has officially moved from my coil to be replaced by 'attractive mature woman' tag. 

This last week many of my amours have come out of the woodwork...


I received a knock on the door on Wednesday morning at 8.50am.. I was in the process of running round to get to work in my usual hurry (still makeup to put on) .  Who should be standing there.. Stevie.. he of the moustachiod finger fame. Such a lovely surprise.. with the other surprise that I'm standing there still with no makeup and state of flurry.

He was back from Finland after 8 months.

Funny how when you meet someone it's like he had never left!  We picked up where we left up and before long we were sitting in the local bar enjoying a morning beer.  The last time I did that was with him 8 months ago!


Well, it seems that he has bought his baby and 'girlfriend' over and they live in a caravan in Newell Beach about 40 minutes away.  He said that he was with his family but obviously there is a demarcation as he says that he only had sex twice with his girlfriend in the last 8 months.  That he is staying here for at least 3 years, but doesn't know what his girlfriend wants to do.  Seems a strange set up.  So not sure what's going to happen on that one.  He is a fun guy (minds me of the mushroom joke), but certainly not a serious contender for a long term relationship.  He says such lovely things but not sure how many are backed up with actions..  He was so happy and genuinely relieved to have met me as he was worried I might have moved. 






Bumped into Mr P....  in my local supermarket last Saturday!  Quite a surprise as he lives an hour away.  Such a lovely surprise, he jokingly asks "so what are you doing here.. ha!  You live here!' .  We had a chat and a laugh..... then his girlfriend arrived and we were duly introduced.  Yep.. the triathlete.  I certainly felt like the frumpy body sandwiched between the swelted and muscled.   He has been with her for about a year now. They were up in Port Douglas for the weekend (a romantic one I imagine).  Did see a woman resembling his girlfriend running in the high street that evening (though wondered why she chose the high street.. most runners run in the beautiful scenery surrounding the high street!).  Don't think I've seen anybody running in the centre of town.  Still,  it's good to see they are both happy and certainly see where my downfall was!

Out on Saturday night and my sometime lover Neil was there.  Hadn't seen him for a while.   He told me that his girlfriend had left so I think he was finding his single feet again.  We had a lovely chat and then we moved on.  Being British we both have a good larf and share a common sense of humour.

Dean is still around.. since I have known him he has had one relationship of 6 months and recently another for 3 months.  He totally wears his heart on his sleeve and his last relationship sounds a nightmare, but he is still persisting.  I tend to see myself as an agony aunt with benefits!  He tends to offload on me.. yes.. I have a listening ear!  His words the other day "if only I could have met you 20 years earlier'.  That took me aback and I thought.. blimey 20 years.. yep.. that's about right! Would make me 31 (he's about 34)...  He has a bit of a rough diamond edge but he likes books on spirituality and believes in good in everyone. He just wants to meet someone and have a family, but sadly he seems to be pursuing the wrong types of girls who seem to take advantage of him.  He wanted to come up and see me on Friday, but was too tired.  Today on Facebook I see his 'ex' girlfriend with a big bunch of roses from him for her birthday.


















And lastly Matt..

The guy I met before I went to UK in August.  Professed almost undying love said that he was going to miss me and that it was going to be a long 3 weeks!  Well.. it's been a long 5 months.  In that time he backtracked said he didn't want to be in a relationship...Then he ended up with another girl for about a month.  I saw him on Saturday night where he seemed to think that informing me that this new liaison had now left to go to the Gold Coast was of interest to me... and that he would see how it goes from there... so not sure what that meant.  Just leave him to it... I think he has some issues to sort out and looking back in hindsight he wouldn't be good to have been in a relationship with so that's ok.



Feeling that I'm on the edge of all this girlfriend boyfriend activity.

I went away diving on Wednesday/Thursday.. brilliant trip.. see next post...

 Thursday morning according to my guest (who was booking my room in my house) there was someone knocking on the door around 5.00am.  I had my suspicions who it could be....

Sure enough, went out on Saturday night and happened to bump into "J" the guy from the other night - when we went to the quiz.  He was off home - he couldn't get into the local club as he and his mates were wearing singlets not T Shirts.

5.00am on Sunday morning I get a text asking if I fancied coming round:

5.41am  Hey there rosie! I donut suppose your up for some fun? If not no probs??
7.57am Hey Jim! Thanks for your text.. Always lovely to see you
9.00am  Haha - Im feeling very Horny if ya wanna drop over!
9.00am This morning.. can't do.  I've just arranged to go to brekky.  You'll have to fly solo .. Another time:)

Ah.. the words of romance are not dead.  And in case you are wondering.. no I didn't have a breakfast date.  I'm just not up for being treated like a phone sex delivery service.

Men have no idea... if only he'd have said something endearing, like would be lovely to see you and then we can go to breakfast.. I would have been round like a shot.. yep because I am still gullible and taken in by smooth talking men!

Well... I continue on... not too bothered by the men thing... que cera cera.   Onwards and upwards!

So.... E Book here I come...

Sorry I have been remiss in the blog area...

I have started to write an Ebook... I started it this week and am now at 4,000 words.

My goodness what a waffler I am!

I thought it would be the neoprene version of a bodice ripper, but I find it difficult to write about sex.  A bit like when guys ask me to talk dirty and I respond with 'ooh stick it in me.... please !'.

I enjoy sex purely as a means to feeling close to someone, skin on skin, connection, emotion.  I find it difficult to separate an act of such complexity to a line 'his member throbbed like the pulsing of plutonium in a gamma rod as he rammed it into the welcoming opening of her moist conductor'.

Anyway, I digress.  The E book will be about experiences of my diving life intermingled with, of course, some romantic liaisons.  I'll keep it low level in the erotic stakes.. but if required maybe I could ramp it up if required.... though trying to keep a straight face with writing about divers going deep diving etc is an interesting one.

So a quick precis on my life at the moment.

Still involved in a million projects that like lead balloons are very loathe to leave the ground.

I am still having problems with my house in Costa Rica - Finally managed to find another renter (my initial renter of one year left after one month after being burgled).  This one for a week didn't last long either.. less than 24 hours and he left after being burgled too!  This house is costing me dearly.  I have to pay for its upkeep of $500 a month + still paying for the fittings and the money I paid for improvement for security a couple of months ago of $2500 didn't even reach for that as it went to general maintenance.  The TV has just been replaced at a cost of $400 on the back of the week's rent that is not to be!  Aaaaahh!!

And I am still working on a three day job that pays me $120 a day basic...
For the first time in 8 months I didn't sell anything in two weeks, so no commission there.

So lucky that I am renting my house out here.. what a lifesaver!

At the moment I sit in the office at 10.00 at night. I am living in the backpackers and rather than pay for internet it's easier to sit here in the office.  It's also pissing down with rain with vengeance.  At one point in the office today we all looked out at the river of mud and debris just pouring like a raging torrent down the road.  Rainy season has indeed arrived!

I was supposed to meet a friend for dinner tonight, but she has to get back to her house on the other side of the river about an hours drive away so she can get cut off on the right side!

Men.. haha! that's a larf..   let's just say blokes.

Good quality is not in high abundance here.  I am not so worried.  I think just having guys that like me and 'hang loose' is fine for me. 

With one of them I feel like the agony aunt with benefits.  I have known him for nearly two years.  He has been through two relationships in that time (6 months and 3 months) and I'm the ear and the person that takes a little of an ear pounding.  Bless him, he is 32 and wears his heart on his sleeve.  He is a sensitive soul with a bit of a rough edging, but he is uncomplicated and we have a lovely understanding.  Though the comment "if only I had met you 20 years ago" kind of jarred me back into the reality of the situation!

Simon after nearly two years has literally disappeared.  His last words to me was how much he loved me and he didn't want to leave me.  That was after our romantic tryst in early October when we went to stay in a motel (oh yes, I get to stay in the swankiest places).  He just turned 27, but I think that he was disappearing into a world of dealing ice and friends that were most definitely leading him astray.  He has moved back in with his Father now, and despite a couple of letters and a facebook message he has literally vanished.

Paul - a good friend, again of about one and a half years.  We are just good friends and never had the inclination to go any further.  He recently reared back up after a failed 3 month relationship.  So that would be good to have his company a bit more as he is an interesting, intelligent and lovely guy.  Though I consider him to be a little too complicated and intense at times. He hardly needs any sleep, gets up and watches every sunset and being in his mid-late 40's has become quite inflexible in how he is - he would certainly expect a woman to work round him.

Tim - a Port Douglas one night stand that ended up being a two night stand.  He is fun to be with and we get on well.  He is definitely playing the field, but we have glasses of wine together.  I haven't ever made a move on him.  We first got together as we started chatting in the pub and then I invited him along to trivia.  I thought he was nice, but didn't think anything more.  The girls at trivia most definitely thought he was nice.. and two girls in particular were doing their best.  I had written him off that he was going to end up with this young American girl as they seemed to be getting very friendly.

What did go extremely well was Timmeee staying.  I was totally apprehensive about him staying for the month.  In the end he only stayed two weeks and went off travelling.  Smart, intelligent, considerate, accommodating... and such great fun company.  He really was a joy.  I don't have any sexual attraction to him and he has a girlfriend, but I can say now after he left a week ago that I have a wonderful treasured friend that I am privileged to have had the opportunity to develop our relationship with.  He is 47 so nearer my age, but seems at least 10 years younger.  With a yacht that he has been chartering out for sailing for the last 10 years in Central America (I met him in Honduras) he is not your archetypal man of his age.  Probably why we got on so well - 2 round pegs in a square hole!

I said goodbye at the end and he walked up to me and said "I'm on my way home too so if you fancy a glass of wine at my place" (we had already worked discussed that he lived a block away)... so that's how we ended up sipping some rather fruity red wine that night.. before we crushed our own grapes (haha .. how corny is that!).

Job wise, I do like my job, but it has to be a JOB not a hobby.  If Costa Rica and the rental of my house was being a bit more behaved then I could relax a bit more, but I am still applying for more secure work - especially now that low season is coming up.  I can't really survive on what I'm getting and I don't want to eat into my dwindling savings!

Well, will update again soon.. as they say in the movies... watch this space.....

I want to tell you about my spiritual encounter with my friend who did the reading.. but will have to wait until the next blog!