Matt:
I have built up a lovely relationship with Matt (see earlier blog). We get on very well, have a laugh and a giggle together and I go to stay with him about once every three weeks for a lovely cuddle and lovemaking. It is has been obvious from our previous conversations that the status quo of us both is of friends with benefits.
A couple of weeks ago he came over and I cooked dinner (his Father is a chef, and he is no stranger to producing his own culinary delights). Lamb ribs with couscous and dips with flat bread and salad.. simple but very tasty and the lamb was done 'just right'. For me it kind of took our relationship up a bit of a notch. A couple of days later I stayed with him... whereupon I left at 4.00am in the morning to get the Gramac V boat to start my advetnure.
He is a sweety and has himself picked me up from the airport at 4.00am to collect me when I returned from my commercial diving course in Perth.
We hadn't talked about moving forward with our relationship, I have always felt that at 49 I would not be considered as he is 32 and looking for family and settling down methinks. But I had sometimes thought that we got on so well that it could be a goer.
Last Monday night I asked if I could stay after dropping a friend off at the airport to which he replied he was busy. I ask if I can stay on Sunday night as I have an appointment on Monday am in Cairns - to which he replies that he left his phone at work but will call me.... so I just get the feeling.
So last night after a few drinks I call him and ask if he has met somebody else and he replies that he has met a girl only one time but hat he wishes to progress it.
We agreed to stay friends, but I said that I would leave the ball in his court with regards to him contacting me.
So it's strange that despite how one uses one's head, that actually I felt quite sad when I finished the call. No matter how much you can tell yourself , yeh, it was just a friendship with extras.. I actually realised how much I did like him and how a little bit emptier my life will be without him in it. I hope we can progress as friends, which I know is really best for us both so I shall see if he calls.....
Dean:
(see earlier blog)
Found out he had fallen head over heels with a girl by reading their comments together on Facebook with mutual slushy conversations about what a wonderful weekend they had had. Of couse I messaged him and wished him well.
So hopefully both will find love and happiness and of course all I can do is be pleased that I met them.
Ironically, they were both very considerate unselfish lovers and sexually gave me hope that there are men out there still that don't believe the Hilti Hammer drill making love technique is now what men believe is satisfying to a woman (or more likely they can't be bothered what the woman thinks!).
Still licking my wounds last night and feeling sad about Matt I was emotionally shepherded in to the open arms of a guy that had fancied me for a long time called Chris and I was too weak and a bit drunk to withstand his advances. He did come back last night, but despite him seeming like a caring, loving, man (he is a teacher at a local primary school) in bed he turned into a bit of an arrogant selfish bastard.. I hate having my hand or head pushed towards crotch like a command and I equally hate being told that he likes anal sex... so I just rolled over and cried. What is it with these men nowadays? Sex has turned into just that - a cold clinical physical emotionless bit of exercise.
This morning I just leapt out of bed, put my clothes in and said I would drop him home. I could tell he was highly mortified and kept saying sorry, but I did assure him it was all my fault, which it was..... In thinking to replace one gap of one shape with an infill of another shape!
No comments:
Post a Comment