PENELOPE P in PORT Aged 49 Penelope P is found licking her wounds and patching up her emotions after finishing a 6 year relationship. Originally from the UK, her split inspired her to move lock stock and 2 smoking barrels from Sydney to the tropical paradise of Port Douglas to start the next Chapter in her life. Not knowing anybody and putting a pin in a map, literally, this is the blog of her finding her feet, her confidence and her life.....
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Christmas Cards 2012
The lettering is from women's magazines (trying to find a large 'X' was an interesting one!)
A large blue silver star stuck on to some jazzy silver present gift wrap as the tail.
My driftwood project....
The launch of my latest venture.... driftwood pieces.
I have various pieces of nature carved artworks that I just love!
After collecting a few pieces on my beach walks I took the next step of mounting them.
A local metalworker has made these bases for me out of steel, which I have treated for rust and metal sprayed in black.
Affixing these to the wood was a learning curve! I decided on a humpback bridge type fitting (not the technical name and screws)
I have found that driftwood does come in various guises.. soft and hard wood. After trying to screw in screws, bang in tacks and drill unsuccessfully into the back (and bent the drill bit) of hardwood (now I know why it's called hardwood) I finally managed a technique whereby I eventually managed to be able to screw the screws in.
Then lifting up the wood.. it came off the end of the rod on the support.. so now I will attach the bridges with epoxy glue...
I have spray cleaned the wood, sanded it.. and now have linseed oil to finish them with.
How I am going to sell them is an interesting one... think I might approach furniture and decor stores. But certainly know that they are too large and bulky for anything involving ordering on line and shipping!
2,000 + Counting
Very humbled now to have 2,000 views....
How insignificant is my life that I consider myself lucky to have 1 view!
Whether this is ad hoc viewers or followers - thank you.
Would be good if you connected with me .. send me emails, advice, etc....
Here's to 3,000!
How insignificant is my life that I consider myself lucky to have 1 view!
Whether this is ad hoc viewers or followers - thank you.
Would be good if you connected with me .. send me emails, advice, etc....
Here's to 3,000!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
I'm doing dogy paddle. whilst my exes are doing butterfly stroke..
Beginning of 2013 has only served to make me feel like everyone's lives are moving in the fast lane at 130 mph while mine just seems to have got stuck in the slow lane at a trundling 50 mph.
We are talking 3 weddings of friends and a birth...
To start with ...14th January .. Scott, my ex of 6 years who I left 1.5 years ago had a visit from a stork and little Gene was born.
Yes, mixed emotions.. I do feel that it has all happened very fast. I know that his girlfriend was definitely on the 'biological time clock running out' panic mode and all the time I knew her she had never had a boyfriend.
I suppose I wonder how he will adapt to Father hood. A piece of me wonders if it will change him, make him more empathetic, considerate, less selfish, want to get healthy, cut down the booze and cigs. Make him the person I wanted him to be (or do leopards change their spots?).
Another part wonders if he doesn't change how everything is going to pan out, they have only lived together for a year, so they are still very much in honeymoon period... and a baby certainly will add another dimension.
Mmmm.. just not sure how I feel.. just a little sadness... that it seems that our 6 years together seem to have so quickly dissolved into ether, including the hard work that I put into it to try and make it work. So plainly just swept under the carpet. They now have their future... as a family. I am still getting to grips with singledom!
It is difficult when I would have loved to have had a man to love, a child and a family, oh yes, and resemble those perfect TV families. Yes, I would say I have worked hard to try and find that one person, but it is not to be. Now whenever I meet men I have to think (I hope they don't want children!). How easily it seems that my ex has now got that.... and by pure default.
The baby is called Gene. What's rather strange is that on Christmas Eve I spent with a guy called Gene! I had never met anyone with that name before. And on the Monday I actually texted him to ask how he was doing... talk about Gene spooky!
And the other unnerving leave me in the wake event:
Each year I send two emails to Max - a man that I fell in love with 18 years ago. Ironically, I was due to go and see him 7 years ago in Australia.... nearly bought my ticket and then met my ex, so didn't make it... At the end of my last relationship when it was going through all the shitty bits we met up in Sydney. He professed that he loved me, but was about to move in with his girlfriend. I wasn't in an emotional position to leap from one relationship to another (unlike some people!). I said that if we were meant to be together then it would happen in an organic way. And so I wrote to him for Christmas... even saying that I wondered if there were wedding bells or pitter patters of tiny feet on the horizon.
Then I receive back this email:
So wedding bells are a sounding for Max... in 5 weeks....
I had two friends that have just got married ... one in France (another ex boyfriend) and a girlfriend in Losa Angeles. Anyone else, married, pregnant... engaged??? and only 2 weeks into the near year...
It's just very difficult that we do measure our lives by the main events in it. Marriage, Births... somehow there is an emptiness where there is that empty feeling that probably the only one I'll get to attend in my life.. is ironically my death.. my funeral.. haha!
We are talking 3 weddings of friends and a birth...
To start with ...14th January .. Scott, my ex of 6 years who I left 1.5 years ago had a visit from a stork and little Gene was born.
 | |
| Gene - my ex boyfriends new baby.... |
I suppose I wonder how he will adapt to Father hood. A piece of me wonders if it will change him, make him more empathetic, considerate, less selfish, want to get healthy, cut down the booze and cigs. Make him the person I wanted him to be (or do leopards change their spots?).
Another part wonders if he doesn't change how everything is going to pan out, they have only lived together for a year, so they are still very much in honeymoon period... and a baby certainly will add another dimension.
Mmmm.. just not sure how I feel.. just a little sadness... that it seems that our 6 years together seem to have so quickly dissolved into ether, including the hard work that I put into it to try and make it work. So plainly just swept under the carpet. They now have their future... as a family. I am still getting to grips with singledom!
It is difficult when I would have loved to have had a man to love, a child and a family, oh yes, and resemble those perfect TV families. Yes, I would say I have worked hard to try and find that one person, but it is not to be. Now whenever I meet men I have to think (I hope they don't want children!). How easily it seems that my ex has now got that.... and by pure default.
The baby is called Gene. What's rather strange is that on Christmas Eve I spent with a guy called Gene! I had never met anyone with that name before. And on the Monday I actually texted him to ask how he was doing... talk about Gene spooky!
And the other unnerving leave me in the wake event:
Each year I send two emails to Max - a man that I fell in love with 18 years ago. Ironically, I was due to go and see him 7 years ago in Australia.... nearly bought my ticket and then met my ex, so didn't make it... At the end of my last relationship when it was going through all the shitty bits we met up in Sydney. He professed that he loved me, but was about to move in with his girlfriend. I wasn't in an emotional position to leap from one relationship to another (unlike some people!). I said that if we were meant to be together then it would happen in an organic way. And so I wrote to him for Christmas... even saying that I wondered if there were wedding bells or pitter patters of tiny feet on the horizon.
Then I receive back this email:
dearest Pen
thank you so much for persevering with this friendship when I have proven to be so unworthy of it.....i.e. not responding & being way to absorbed with own world. I do apologies that I left you with the feeling that I would not respond as you are one of the most engaging people I have ever met & somebody who I love so completely for being such a wonderful human being. As always Pen I do think that you totally ROCK!
Life has zoomed along & I am to be married in around 5 weeks time. I am incredibly excited & look forward to the start of something wonderful that I will be able to cherish for the rest of my days. I love Candice with all my heart & she is a lovely human being who I respect enormously. There is the discussion between us on the topic of pittering & pattering little feet but we have a few things we would like to do before then but I do hope that it is not in the to distant future. This is something that I never thought would be part of this existence for me but Candice has fostered & nurtured parts of my psyche that I thought either never existed or I had sufficiently buried so as to not impact on my single minded path moving forward. I love her & the changes that have occurred in me because of who she is.
So (your ex) is about to become a dad? Good on him! Assuming that this is what he wants & can handle all the stuff that goes along with that. I do understand that he is your friend but I hold reservations about the man & that level of responsibility is life long, so I do hope that he taking the long view. My apologies to you if that offends you because you are awesome & offending you is not intention.
Wonderful news on all your creative endeavours, you never could be accused of idle hands & I love the way you develop ideas & pursue them with intelligence. Right at the moment you seem to have so many irons in the fire you must be running a foundry up there?! :-)
I imagine that intelligence & tenacity of yours is to much of a challenge for the small minded diving industry types & creates barriers that they can not see past little own over come? But you seem to have a handle on that & made choices that will serve you better than persevering with that situation.
It is wonderful that you managed to see your day for his 80th birthday, your a good daughter but my heart does ache a little for you understanding the challenges of seeing one so close dealing with the rigors of age. Having said that he does sound like he continues to give life a red hot go & it is nice that he is still able to enjoy live music. It's just a shame that TV is filling the void in his day as increasingly it is just crap that they seem to play in a loop. Hehehe. I am sure he is not phased by it though. Thank you for thinking of my dad & family, they are all well & taking on their own challenges. Mum & dad have recently purchased a new property on the Central Coast of NSW, not far from where they currently & are developing plans to build yet another new home. This seems to keep them engaged & they both enjoy the opportunity to take control of their part of that project. Dad continues to work in a consultant role to the business that he has been involved with for so many years which allows him to continue with his domestic travel & he seems to enjoy that. They managed to spend June & half of July in Paris this year which they enjoyed, so they to never let the grass grow under their feet.
My dear Pen I also wish you all the best for this year & with you your exciting endeavours. I thank you for your lovely friendship which I cherish with all my heart & feel so strongly with each message that I receive from you. I have had cause to wonder why timing & distance seemed to conspire against us over our the course of our friendship & there is a part of me that will always mourn that our moons did not align for a second time. Perhaps if I had been smarter on the first alignment :-). I love you & will always hold a genuine affection for you. As always, take good care of you & good luck in 2013. Much love to you.
Mx
thank you so much for persevering with this friendship when I have proven to be so unworthy of it.....i.e. not responding & being way to absorbed with own world. I do apologies that I left you with the feeling that I would not respond as you are one of the most engaging people I have ever met & somebody who I love so completely for being such a wonderful human being. As always Pen I do think that you totally ROCK!
Life has zoomed along & I am to be married in around 5 weeks time. I am incredibly excited & look forward to the start of something wonderful that I will be able to cherish for the rest of my days. I love Candice with all my heart & she is a lovely human being who I respect enormously. There is the discussion between us on the topic of pittering & pattering little feet but we have a few things we would like to do before then but I do hope that it is not in the to distant future. This is something that I never thought would be part of this existence for me but Candice has fostered & nurtured parts of my psyche that I thought either never existed or I had sufficiently buried so as to not impact on my single minded path moving forward. I love her & the changes that have occurred in me because of who she is.
So (your ex) is about to become a dad? Good on him! Assuming that this is what he wants & can handle all the stuff that goes along with that. I do understand that he is your friend but I hold reservations about the man & that level of responsibility is life long, so I do hope that he taking the long view. My apologies to you if that offends you because you are awesome & offending you is not intention.
Wonderful news on all your creative endeavours, you never could be accused of idle hands & I love the way you develop ideas & pursue them with intelligence. Right at the moment you seem to have so many irons in the fire you must be running a foundry up there?! :-)
I imagine that intelligence & tenacity of yours is to much of a challenge for the small minded diving industry types & creates barriers that they can not see past little own over come? But you seem to have a handle on that & made choices that will serve you better than persevering with that situation.
It is wonderful that you managed to see your day for his 80th birthday, your a good daughter but my heart does ache a little for you understanding the challenges of seeing one so close dealing with the rigors of age. Having said that he does sound like he continues to give life a red hot go & it is nice that he is still able to enjoy live music. It's just a shame that TV is filling the void in his day as increasingly it is just crap that they seem to play in a loop. Hehehe. I am sure he is not phased by it though. Thank you for thinking of my dad & family, they are all well & taking on their own challenges. Mum & dad have recently purchased a new property on the Central Coast of NSW, not far from where they currently & are developing plans to build yet another new home. This seems to keep them engaged & they both enjoy the opportunity to take control of their part of that project. Dad continues to work in a consultant role to the business that he has been involved with for so many years which allows him to continue with his domestic travel & he seems to enjoy that. They managed to spend June & half of July in Paris this year which they enjoyed, so they to never let the grass grow under their feet.
My dear Pen I also wish you all the best for this year & with you your exciting endeavours. I thank you for your lovely friendship which I cherish with all my heart & feel so strongly with each message that I receive from you. I have had cause to wonder why timing & distance seemed to conspire against us over our the course of our friendship & there is a part of me that will always mourn that our moons did not align for a second time. Perhaps if I had been smarter on the first alignment :-). I love you & will always hold a genuine affection for you. As always, take good care of you & good luck in 2013. Much love to you.
Mx
So wedding bells are a sounding for Max... in 5 weeks....
I had two friends that have just got married ... one in France (another ex boyfriend) and a girlfriend in Losa Angeles. Anyone else, married, pregnant... engaged??? and only 2 weeks into the near year...
It's just very difficult that we do measure our lives by the main events in it. Marriage, Births... somehow there is an emptiness where there is that empty feeling that probably the only one I'll get to attend in my life.. is ironically my death.. my funeral.. haha!
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Wild Xmas Celebrations.. pole dancing, boobs and booze
Yep .. coming up my rather wild Xmas Day.. let's just say that it didn't start by going to church.
As a taster .. spent with 4 girls who work as exotic dancers, strippers and pole dancers, and their boyfriends (yep... you could say that I stuck out like a sore thumb not only as the only single 'girl'.. but probably the only one who hasn't seen any botox, silicon and was older than most of their Mothers!)
Yep... topless volleyball (I was the only girl with her top on)
Why I have two bruises between my thighs
As a taster .. spent with 4 girls who work as exotic dancers, strippers and pole dancers, and their boyfriends (yep... you could say that I stuck out like a sore thumb not only as the only single 'girl'.. but probably the only one who hasn't seen any botox, silicon and was older than most of their Mothers!)
Yep... topless volleyball (I was the only girl with her top on)
Why I have two bruises between my thighs
The errant condom that bought things to a head on Jona's visit
More on Jonas and his stay...........
Yes, it could have been the beginning of a wonderful relationship.... but it wasn't.. at most the beginning of a tentative friendship.
We met in Perth as he chatted me up.... danced me off my feet, had a wonderful kiss and dance and he bought me a rose, before his rather sudden demise and lack of compus mentis due to too much alcohol imbibed.
We did follow up that drunken encounter with a rather formal drinks and dinner, but certainly nothing physical except for a goodbye hug with my immortal words 'if you ever want to come to Port Douglas then there is always a welcome for you there'.
Sure enough an email from him 9 months later advised me of his intentions to come and stay. When I said 'come and stay' my mind did think long weekend.. maybe 3 or 4 days, so was surprised to get the request for 8 days!
Perhaps deep down I was thinking.. maybe he wants to spend that extra time with me... aaahh.. my vanity!
So I pick him up at an unearthly 4am in the morning at Cairns airport and whizz him up to Port with mentions of going diving, hill walking and exploring.
We toured round Cape Tribulation and I saw my first wild cassowary, went on a snorkel trip to low isles, walked the Blue and Red Arrow trails, went pool surfing, swam in rainforest lagoons, bathed in waterfalls, and I just enjoyed showing someone around the beauty of the locality.
It was apparent from our first night that he was positively holding back and that there was certainly no zing or glimmer of affection from him. I did ask if he could actually remember how we met, to which he said he did . I asked 'why me?' and he said because I didn't look like I came from Perth. Not sure if that is a backhanded compliment, but it certainly wasn't the romantic answer I was looking for.
And so I felt the glimmer of any romantic liaison sliding off me like melted butter. Also, as time went on I distinctly became irritated by him. He asked if I had hand sanitizer to which I replied non plussed "what's wrong with soap?", on looking at his bedside table arrangements - a plethora of ear plugs and a airline eye mask. Snorkelling he asked for two noodles - always a first time.. never seen that one before... knew then that the diving trip was probably not on. It all came to a head when I found a packeted condom in my car. Since he was the only person who had been in the car I presumed it was his. I thought I asked him casually 'aah, yes I found this in the car.. presumed it was yours'. It's a hard sentence to say without perhaps a trace of resentment or accusation attached to the nuance of the announcement.
He went ballistic "IT IS NOT MINE!".... whew! If I had had a wig on .. it would have blown off with the force of the denial.
After the intial blast of denial died down we started talking.
It then came out that he was bisexual and slept with men. In my shock I asked 'do you give or take ?' to which he replied 'both'... and also to find on his Facebook this page. I think this is a man he is having an ongoing affair with and seems very much smitten by him, so methinks.. aha.. so that could explain much.
After the discussion we held hands and he was able to relax with me. How ironic that to get closer to him I have to find out that he likes men! After that evening he seemed more relaxed with me and I probably felt more relaxed now that I understood the situation.
... and even stranger after all that he said that the condom still wasn't his... so there still remains the mystery of the errant condom..
So funny.. on his last day I arranged to take a friend to the airport and before going to the airport we passed by the Crystal Cascades. Beautiful waterfall and cooling water. Jonas seemed to perk up a bit when he met Glen and after we dropped Glen off he mentioned how much he liked him (I presume in a friendship way).
I just saw Glen today and he said that Jonas had Facebooked him a friend request, but Glen didn't know whether to accept as he wasn't too happy with Jona's treatment of me. Bless Him.
Jonas and Glen at the Crystal Cascades...
We have since communicated via Facebook with the standard Happy Christmas and Happy New Year messages.... and I have an invite to stay with him in Perth. Methinks that it might be a while before I take him up on that.
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