48 hours and 3 dates later.

So I have embarked on my new mission of internet dating with gusto courtesy of Plenty of Fish (POF) dating site.

My first date was with Mike , moniker of 'crankypants'. Though barely being able to see his photo as he crouched behind two lionesses in his profile photo his wit, scarcasm and sense of humour shone out amongst the other profiles. If only I could have a dollar for every profile saying they want a woman “who likes fun”, “willing to try anything”, “with an open mind”, “no frills excitement” or bottom line “I want a shag without having to pay for it”. So anything with a variance and some intellect is not hard to find.

Mike had a tongue in cheek humour, and we had chatted and texted and he was keen to come up for breakfast. So rather strangely after bidding goodbye to my ‘fun’, ‘no frills’ and naughty Saturday night bit of whoopee. I arrive for breakfast. Rather strange having breakfast with a man that wasn't a romantic development of the night before.

My first impression was, he had lovely eyes.

A charming, fun and interesting breakfast followed by a saunter around the craft market was a lovely way to while away an otherwise stagnant Sunday morning.

With regard to oomph factor I am afraid despite ticking all the right boxes for intellect, fun and humour, I just didn't get any of the blow me socks off and throw me in a haystack type of feeling. We left with a polite kiss on the cheek and him saying that if I was in Cairns on Tuesday then we could meet up. He would have been nice to have hung out with, but then I consider friendships to be organic and naturally progressing.

So I hope we keep in touch and certainly treasure people like him in my life.

And so to Tuesday

With Matt and David… at one point due to complex text messaging and confusion I almost arranged to meet them both at lunch time which could have made an interesting blog post!

So after some palpitations, I met Matt for lunch . Matt came onto POF with no photo, but he liked my profile so I thought I would give him a chance. Despite my protestations he said he liked older women. His email photo sent subsequently showed a not unattractive young man with fine features.

Meeting him he looked like his photo, with his clear blue eyes, until he smiled portraying some complex dentistry and braces. His age of 33 looked more like 25. Then it struck me, do older women lie and take off years and do young men add years.

Whatever the outcome I sat there, thinking how much we must have looked to onlookers like Mother and Son! Likewise there’s me thinking, ‘what a lovely boy’, very courteous and well mannered, and with two houses and a prestige car to boot. Certainly a good catch with a gold seal of approval for any prospective inlaws and girlfriend.

He was quite vocal in wanting to see me again (good for my ego) but for me it would have felt more like incest. All I wanted to do was to take him under my wing (or my dinner lady flabby arms), so I don’t think this is heading anywhere.

Next date was set by David at 5.00 pm in the RSL club.

That’s Australian speak for cheap beers. So no mention of going anywhere for food, and since I was driving the cheap drinks were rather lost on me. So not so well planned me thinks.

I had just walked in the entrance when I spotted him from 100 feet away. David I had initiated contact with on POF because admittedly his rippling body, blue eyed, tanned look and windblown cragginess of a life spent on a boat or surfboard appealed to me. The typical Australian look (and we’re not talking koala!). Spending 4 years on a dive boat as a chef, meant that two of my main loves were met – diving and good food!

His profile was down to earth and honest, with emphasis on being able to have a laugh and enjoy the basic things in life.

Before long we were both having belly laughs together and I would say that that went well.

Though I have to admit through almost passing out from sucking in my stomach, trying to sit upright to pull in my tummy. My washboard stomach was more like a bloated washing machine. Though certainly had the belly for the laughs!

His main loves are his two boys, the gym and diving. On talking about his two young boys his face lit up and he became animated.

I don’t see myself involved with David, unless on a purely booty call type of basis. I did test him when I left by saying that I was worried about staying too late as it was a long drive back in the dark and I get narcolepsy. He didn’t respond with ‘well, I hope you get back safely” or “call me when you get back just to let me know you got back safely’. Only reply was for him to say that he was staying for a few more beers.

We had a goodbye cursory hug and kiss on cheek. I did text that I had arrived back safely and thanks for the evening, but no reply.. .. so I can hear the empty echo of no reply responding back!

So it is 3 dates down 6 to go and all the frantic texting of before has resulted in a dead blank phone.... with the faint rustle of the passing tumbleweed.

I don’t know if I can maintain my first level of enthusiasm. Only one that I am keen on is Natt – but he lives about 1500 km’s away, but we might meet up in Brisbane.

So at present no more dates planned…but well, one never knows - the optimist says the glass is half full, the realist says it's half full of urine!

The 'man' situation

So what about a man?

The sign around my neck now shouts in neon lights ‘single’. A status that is fitting me as snugly as a morbidly obese fitting bikini. Shaking off all my built up reflexes of loyalty and fidelity that I have had in the last 6 years to now live with gay abandon (or not, as in my case) through the broken shackles of new singledom is a daunting task. Not being a spring chicken and feeling even a little on the other side of being a cougar, but with the tastes of someone half my age.. is going to be no easy task. Despite my ongoing dicrepidness I have no liking for bald pates, receding hairlines, wrinkles, middle age spreads or bad teeth. Oh dear, age has not made me less superficial!

So I have launched myself at the singles situation, task in hand, in a business like manner, Not wishing to spend any money (and hoping equally that the men I am trying to attract also wouldn’t want to spend money, not out of lack of it, but more like someone

not being that desperate to want to spend any, but more out of curiousity) I have enlisted the help of modern technology.

So enter Plenty of Fish dating website. My first experience of the joys of our new 21^st technological society. Very strange putting yourself onto the dating market.. Where’s the best photos (I have 4 – one of which is nearly 10 years old. I even have one photo that has ‘TRIAL’ across my forehead – which has raised a few queries about whether I had gone to prison. This was a special software for ‘enhancing’ photos – retouching software that could change Kathy Bates into Angelina. I decided to use the trial software (I didn’t purchase it) hence why it looks like I have a TRIAL tattoo on my forehead!

Not only is this medium for finding that prospective and elusive ‘soul’ partner, but as I am finding out is also a great arena for my perverse sense of humour. I don’t know if it is morally correct to mock the afflicted, but just how much does this appeal to my wicked sense of humour! And so here are a few choice examples for your delectation and delight. The awful thing is that I spend more time looking at these ones and if I click on a photo it shows the recipient that ‘I’m interested’. I wonder if I there’s someone posting on to their blog this picture of a strange woman with ‘TRIAL’ across her forehead.

Picture on right.. Eat your heart out James Bond.. a man that can

wear a small BCD despite being an XL and do all that whilst his mask is filling with water.

This one's handle is 'Romeo' aged 44 (yes. if he is 44 I'm 21)

Do you think he comes with his own teeth?

This one's a worry - he says he is a miner.. but is posing in his security uniform. I think what he is looking for is a housekeeper judging by his environs.

Saturday night… out at the local bar – a real den of backpackers, drunkenss, wanton hedonism, drug induced jolliness. An outside balcony with enforced mingling policy – so many people literally crammed check to jowel (some cases lip to lip) that it’s hard not to talk to people! In the midst of the blanket of heads I heard a ‘hello Rosie’. And there was James the gardener and Thai boxer (very Lady Chatterley!) a cheeky smile rising out of muscled shoulders . I met him 6 months ago, and he ended up coming back to my place – where we then proceeded to google plant names and that was that. I was still with the ex, so made it clear there was to be no googling on any of my ‘bits’ that night. Well, he did come back and in my rather inebriated state, no googling took place – but I did write a rather drunken name of a plant he recommended for my garden.

What do you do on a Saturday night out.. write plant names when drunk of course!

We then ended up in one of those drunken shambolic fall into bed sex sessions. Don’t remember too much, except that it was naughty but nice. Good to feel that I am back on my feet (or back?). He does push those ‘naughty’ buttons for me – he is a total dead loss, interesting, but erratic and quite fascinating. But very easily definitely no complications – though he is the type who would call round drunk at all hours and turn up un announced so not sure if I have opened a can of worms.

As a footnote (literally) 2 days later I find his mismatching socks in the back garden decorating my tropical foliage - the mind boggles or is this modern gardening?

So on reflection – I have lost my loyalty virginity to my ex. But sadly, just wish I didn’t have to. One thing about our relationship ironically was that he was so just spot on sexually – very giving and had me down to a tee and we just ‘clicked’. Plus I won’t mention anything about a baby’s arm!

Next morning was rather abrupt as I had to get him out of the house – as I had a breakfast date! Some irony trying to get rid of someone that you have just slept with to meet someone else as a prospective partner!

See on next blog how my Internet dates went...

Well I read an article which is quite true.. that we are all geared to fall in love.. but not much is covered on trying to fall out of love. Trying to reverse all procedures like trying to push a rewind on your emotional tape cassette.

I have two more dates tomorrow (at present I have 8 people I am chatting with) so lowdown:

1. Matt 33, meeting tomorrow for lunch – he works in IT/telecommunications
2. David – meeting tomorrow later on on (got a bit confused at some point with David and Matt so almost made a terrible mistake and thought I was talking to one person.. could have been interesting having two people turn up at the same time!)
3. Mike – who I met for breakafst on Sunday
4. John – photographer – lives about 1500 km away
5. Natt – very hunky photo – he is 28 but he is interested in meeting up – lives about 1,000 km away
6. Matt – not such a good photo.. but he raved and loved my profile and called me an intelligent woman.
7. Scuba Guy– only in contact with him as he is a keen scuba diver.. so thought it would be good to meet up and go diving perhaps
8. Nut Farmer – can’t meet until November as he is busy studying.
9. Robbo – looks lovely – posing with a lion cub – but even though we did message before , no response from him since I got back.

So sorting through the wheat and chaff, I suppose it could be a game of numbers, I don’t expect to meet ‘the one’ but hopefully will come out of this with some friends.