The 'man' situation

So what about a man?

The sign around my neck now shouts in neon lights ‘single’. A status that is fitting me as snugly as a morbidly obese fitting bikini. Shaking off all my built up reflexes of loyalty and fidelity that I have had in the last 6 years to now live with gay abandon (or not, as in my case) through the broken shackles of new singledom is a daunting task. Not being a spring chicken and feeling even a little on the other side of being a cougar, but with the tastes of someone half my age.. is going to be no easy task. Despite my ongoing dicrepidness I have no liking for bald pates, receding hairlines, wrinkles, middle age spreads or bad teeth. Oh dear, age has not made me less superficial!

So I have launched myself at the singles situation, task in hand, in a business like manner, Not wishing to spend any money (and hoping equally that the men I am trying to attract also wouldn’t want to spend money, not out of lack of it, but more like someone

not being that desperate to want to spend any, but more out of curiousity) I have enlisted the help of modern technology.

So enter Plenty of Fish dating website. My first experience of the joys of our new 21^st technological society. Very strange putting yourself onto the dating market.. Where’s the best photos (I have 4 – one of which is nearly 10 years old. I even have one photo that has ‘TRIAL’ across my forehead – which has raised a few queries about whether I had gone to prison. This was a special software for ‘enhancing’ photos – retouching software that could change Kathy Bates into Angelina. I decided to use the trial software (I didn’t purchase it) hence why it looks like I have a TRIAL tattoo on my forehead!

Not only is this medium for finding that prospective and elusive ‘soul’ partner, but as I am finding out is also a great arena for my perverse sense of humour. I don’t know if it is morally correct to mock the afflicted, but just how much does this appeal to my wicked sense of humour! And so here are a few choice examples for your delectation and delight. The awful thing is that I spend more time looking at these ones and if I click on a photo it shows the recipient that ‘I’m interested’. I wonder if I there’s someone posting on to their blog this picture of a strange woman with ‘TRIAL’ across her forehead.

Picture on right.. Eat your heart out James Bond.. a man that can

wear a small BCD despite being an XL and do all that whilst his mask is filling with water.

This one's handle is 'Romeo' aged 44 (yes. if he is 44 I'm 21)

Do you think he comes with his own teeth?

This one's a worry - he says he is a miner.. but is posing in his security uniform. I think what he is looking for is a housekeeper judging by his environs.

Saturday night… out at the local bar – a real den of backpackers, drunkenss, wanton hedonism, drug induced jolliness. An outside balcony with enforced mingling policy – so many people literally crammed check to jowel (some cases lip to lip) that it’s hard not to talk to people! In the midst of the blanket of heads I heard a ‘hello Rosie’. And there was James the gardener and Thai boxer (very Lady Chatterley!) a cheeky smile rising out of muscled shoulders . I met him 6 months ago, and he ended up coming back to my place – where we then proceeded to google plant names and that was that. I was still with the ex, so made it clear there was to be no googling on any of my ‘bits’ that night. Well, he did come back and in my rather inebriated state, no googling took place – but I did write a rather drunken name of a plant he recommended for my garden.

What do you do on a Saturday night out.. write plant names when drunk of course!

We then ended up in one of those drunken shambolic fall into bed sex sessions. Don’t remember too much, except that it was naughty but nice. Good to feel that I am back on my feet (or back?). He does push those ‘naughty’ buttons for me – he is a total dead loss, interesting, but erratic and quite fascinating. But very easily definitely no complications – though he is the type who would call round drunk at all hours and turn up un announced so not sure if I have opened a can of worms.

As a footnote (literally) 2 days later I find his mismatching socks in the back garden decorating my tropical foliage - the mind boggles or is this modern gardening?

So on reflection – I have lost my loyalty virginity to my ex. But sadly, just wish I didn’t have to. One thing about our relationship ironically was that he was so just spot on sexually – very giving and had me down to a tee and we just ‘clicked’. Plus I won’t mention anything about a baby’s arm!

Next morning was rather abrupt as I had to get him out of the house – as I had a breakfast date! Some irony trying to get rid of someone that you have just slept with to meet someone else as a prospective partner!

See on next blog how my Internet dates went...

Well I read an article which is quite true.. that we are all geared to fall in love.. but not much is covered on trying to fall out of love. Trying to reverse all procedures like trying to push a rewind on your emotional tape cassette.

I have two more dates tomorrow (at present I have 8 people I am chatting with) so lowdown:

1. Matt 33, meeting tomorrow for lunch – he works in IT/telecommunications
2. David – meeting tomorrow later on on (got a bit confused at some point with David and Matt so almost made a terrible mistake and thought I was talking to one person.. could have been interesting having two people turn up at the same time!)
3. Mike – who I met for breakafst on Sunday
4. John – photographer – lives about 1500 km away
5. Natt – very hunky photo – he is 28 but he is interested in meeting up – lives about 1,000 km away
6. Matt – not such a good photo.. but he raved and loved my profile and called me an intelligent woman.
7. Scuba Guy– only in contact with him as he is a keen scuba diver.. so thought it would be good to meet up and go diving perhaps
8. Nut Farmer – can’t meet until November as he is busy studying.
9. Robbo – looks lovely – posing with a lion cub – but even though we did message before , no response from him since I got back.

So sorting through the wheat and chaff, I suppose it could be a game of numbers, I don’t expect to meet ‘the one’ but hopefully will come out of this with some friends.

The beginning of a brand new chapter

Let’s set the scene.

To clarify Penelope P in Port does pertain to Port Douglas, Australia, and not the alcoholic beverage or indeed the opposite to starboard on a boat. Though as this blog continues I am sure all angles of its uses will be explored fully.

18^th September 2011

49 years old, just finished a 6 year relationship – which has taken me from a 43 year old young cougar to a 49 definitely middle aged and feeling past it bearded lioness.

Being strong, putting on a brave face is overrated. I feel very sad and angry at the outcome where a man I love and still love has squandered what we had in the name of ego, emotional immaturity and total lack of empathy. When backed into a corner – make an exit door.

My exit door went from Sydney in New South Wales to Port Douglas Far North Queensland. Any further North and I would be in Papua New Guinea! So I bought a house, left everything in situ in our rented accommodation in Sydney including my car and slipped through to Port as smoothly as if I had been covered in olive oil.

A British citizen now a resident of tropical, beautiful Port Douglas. Fringed by the Daintree rainforest and Barrier Reef – what’s not to like for an uplifting environment. Just looking at the sunsets here can fill the craggy clawing crevices of ones heart with mellow rays of peace – well that’s the idea.

My first night was graced with a showing of the film Elizabeth I. Good to see the toughest Queen of England lost her heart to Robert Dudley. Her penance was to let him live after he was proved a traitor. This was to serve as a painful reminder to her of her human frailty. As an added token action she hacked off her long auburn locks in a symbolic gesture of becoming married only to her people and becoming a born again virgin.

I won’t be cutting my locks off, but somehow her actions carry a resonance with me.

So this blog is the start of my new Chapter. I will keep this updated with ideas, concepts, drunken, sober moments, philosophical outpourings and observances.

19^th September

Ooooh yes.. self indulgence…

Just bought a car today. You might think – aah yes, a small little run around incognito, or a 4x4 so I can go on all those rough terrain expeditions for camping and diving. Nooo… I buy a beautiful sea blue VW Beetle that EVERYONE will know it’s me driving! Could be interesting.

There is a story behind this…

When I lived in London I bought a classic VW Beetle – with its original light blue egg colour. A friend of mine was a car sprayer and offered to spray the car. So I select a beautiful vibrant metallic blue that echoed a cool blue lagoon– one that you could just dive into. On going to pick it up looking for the car he points to a VW in the corner - transformed into a metallic swamp green colour a massive dung beetle of a car. Followed by the comment “well they didn’t have the colour you wanted” So 500 pounds down and a swamp green VW emerged. 6 months later I blow up the back end and another ‘friend’ offered to replace the engine for me. Replacement engine that he installed blew up one day later. Due to it being second hand reconditioned with no guarantees that was an expensive day’s driving for another 500 pounds. It did manage a trip from London to Manchester but that did involve me and my Dutch boyfriend at the time both wrapped up in sleeping bags as we trundled at 50 mph up the M1. I have never sold a car where somebody had to come to tow it away.

And so my dream after that was to have a VW Beetle – sea lagoon blue, but with modern ‘bits’ (yep, I am so technical!).

Woke up this morning with a slight self indulgent sniffle, and driving the beautiful journey from Cains to Port Douglas, get the odd wistful lump in the throat when a particularly ‘press the buttons’ song comes on the radio.

Did stop taking my HRT pills for a week last week, so maybe just the knock on from that as I think it’s less PMT (pre menstrual tention ) more like PMS (post menopausal sniffles).

Went to see a medium yesterday, quickie 15 minutes for $20 – I asked him to speak quickly so I could get my monies worth. Bottom line, I am sensitive, I need to be organized, my guardians are my Mother, my Uncle and a Warlord (he is going to have his work cut out with my Mother!) and everything is going to be OK and I have a good soul (I presume he wasn’t talking about my new shoes). He did say that I had travelled extensively (my sunburnt complexion could have been a give away) and I worked with water and boats – so that was pretty spot on being that for 8 years I was a diver and plan to return to that industry.

Tomorrow pick up my new car and drive!!!