"P" for pause

Met up with "P" last night.



We had a lovely night - I offered for him to stay the night - with whatever inference that meant - not even knowing myself! With the hanging question.. do I really want to see his other 22 piercings?

I thank the fact that he is a mature 44 year old in many ways and is a man of caution and intelligence.

From how he was talking yesterday, I perceive a man who treads carefully and when he advised me he had given the government $44m in tax over 15 years I thought.. he probably has reason!

We had a pub dinner and then had a detour to buy some 'home grown' via a friends house. What is it.. not having drugs for years and now twice in a week!

So went back to mine with a smoko and a wino (well, that's the local lingo). I was sitting there and realised that I don't think I had spoken for a long time. "P" certainly could talk the hind legs off a donkey talking about himself. I don't think he asks me any questions about myself. Last time he was here he was surprised about me when I showed him a few things about myself - and I thought - well, if I could get a word in edgeways, and if you actively encouraged me to talk then you might find something out about me.

He is very hyper to the point where 1am is an early night and he is up again at 6am for the sunrise. I did think - that would be a nightmare if you were in a relationship with him. Funnily enough, he said the same thing.

He had driven here in an open topped jeep - and his long hair (yes, his hair is now shoulder length - so not like the photo) had whipped his eyeball, so it wasn't the most romantic mood chatting with a man doing the impersonation of a pirate. With a tissue dapping his eye every 10 minutes.

I am not sure if he fancies me, taking it steady, wants me as a friend etc. I think if one knows another persons intentions one can bounce one's emotions off that. I find it difficult to read what he really wants.

Certainly from my part, I am pleased to keep a platonic relationship and wouldn't wish to have a physical one that would jeopardise this. Also in my old fashioned Aunt Maud way, I really would like to keep to one man at a time. Certainly Simon seems keen to see me again (the 25 yr old rugby guy), and though we are not in a relationship just like to keep things clear for my befuddled middle age brain!

What is it with these men!

Well...

Internet Dating beginning to know why all these men are on dating sites... because men on them seem to be as flaky as a chocolate flake that has been stamped on! Or as tired as a limp lettuce leaf that you find at the end of parties.

If it sounds like I am a little hacked off, well yes, I have my hands in the air in exasperation with my mouth open exhaling deeply!

I have met up with 7 men from one dating site:

1.	Still a friend and we enjoy texting each other.. He would like it to be more but I am pleased just to have an intelligent, witty friend!
2.	Lovely guy with braces investing in property, but just a bit bland
3.	Despite a birthday message sent no reply received back. He was OK and would have been fine as a friend.
4.	Control freak that gave me an interview not a date. He asked me pointedly how I regarded personal and house hygiene and the importance of his standards of hygiene and cleanliness. He also warned me that watching TV was bad for my eyes.
5.	Going through ugly split, ex girlfriend tried to commit suicide when we were due to meet, threw him out of the home and in bitter custody dispute
6.	Just split from ex girlfriend and going through custody battle
7.	Arranged to meet up again on numerous occasions and he has now advised me that he has sleep and depression problems. Should have had my suspicions when we first started texting and I asked him to call so we could chat and he said he was too tired. Though not too tired to send sexy texts including a picture of a certain excited member which took me by surprise. So due to meet up today but he was ‘too tired and depressed’. (Alec - the pilot)

Another site I joined a month ago and this is the stats:

418 people viewed me

132 emails – 117 unread, 51 winks

25 invites to speed date

Out of this one:

1.	Spent a long time chatting over a period of weeks (he works on the mines 2 wks on and 1 wk off). Arranged to meet up but he missed the plane and in the week he was back despite a few attempts we never met up. Did have phone sex when he returned back to work (see previous blog). Last time I called him he said he couldn't talk as he was too tired (let him off as it was 10.15pm and he had been working physically in 47 degree heat (and that was in the shade!). See Louis in previous blog post.
2.	Arranged a meeting on a Sunday via text and email. Never spoke to me before that. Rang me up on the Saturday to advise me he couldn’t make it. That was literally the phone call verbatim (obviously a man of few words).. and never heard from him again.
3.	Received a wink from another guy who seemed very nice … sent him a message.. never heard back

So funny, because no. 7 was 'too tired' to meet up today I called my friend Gary here and asked if wanted to do anything today. He said no.. he was 'too tired'. What is it with these men!

It's strange I went past the school a few weeks ago and saw all the Mums collecting their children. It just seemed a life a million miles away from me.

Now when I see couples together I have that same dislocated feeling. I cannot now ever envisage myself in a relationship. Though to add to the irony, my libido which I thought I had lost has now reared its head (unfortunate turn of phrase!).

What about meeting the locals...? you may ask. I did meet two guys on Friday night.. not a good start when they recognised me from my court appearance . They were also present in court for DUI charges. They both share a house and were both caught independently. One of them took a shine to me. English guy from Yorkshire aged 27. When I told him I wasn't interested as I was too old for him he said that 32 was not too old (bless him!). We did chat all evening and I made it clear I wasn't interested. He bared his heart to me and we had an indepth chat. He has come out of a 10 year relationship, ruined through the death of his 9 week baby, which they both couldn't cope well with. Seems like he has been taking refuge in drink and drugs. Quite a sweety but with a 'do not touch' and 'danger, beware' signs to me all over him.

Saw the landscape gardener last night, he didn't even want to acknowledge me. So I have the dichotemy of wanting to have sex, but I don't want just passing ships in the night type thing.. but don't want to launch myself into a full blown relationship......

Friends with benefits ......now just need to find some friends...

I have one called Gary.. that I now hang out with a lot, fit body, musician and works on the yachts but he's very straight down the line, so I don't think he would entertain being a FWB and it's not something you can really ask... makes it a bit cold and could scare him off as a friend.

Trying another tac... going to a singles night in Cairns on 11 January for 35-50 year olds... so could be interesting..

Sunday cruising

A new POF coffee date today with Gary. From his profile 6'2" tall muscular and with that typical Australian down to earth no nonsense humour. I loved his profile account which says 'Was bought to my attention my profile pics appear as if I am in love with myself... well, that's not the case', which amused me for its honesty as his pic certainly looks that way! Did meet up and we had a lovely afternoon. My first impression was that he had puffed up from this profile pic - a bout of depression with extreme fatigue syndrome which is now cured had rounded any edges. As with Darren he has issues with his ex wife and his children. He has a court case about custody tomorrow. I suppose it's just being at that certain age that men you meet are going to have children, alimony and divorces under their belt. I think this could be a friend goer, as we did get on well, no sexual chemistry (shame about the expanded midriff! - I know I know.. kettle black!) but definitely had a good chat about the universe and everything. Though despite saying that I wasn't interested in fishing or hearing about the demise of animals - it didn't stop him talking in detail about how to set a foolproof trap for a mantis shrimp or pointing out the good places to fish for crayfish. He told me a story about a previous POF date. He met up with a 21 year old girl... her POF profile pic did not show the piercings up the back of her neck and around her wrist. They did the coffee thing. Then she called him the next day to meet on the beach. She was there with another girlfriend and he escaped in his underwear (having a threesome on the beach with all the sandy bits he didn't find appealing). Later in the week despite protestations she came round to his house and stayed the night. After she left he was bombarded by 40 calls a day from her to which he finished it. A text message 3 weeks later advised him that she was pregnant.............. to which he replied 'congratulations' (he has had a vasectomy) so he knew it wasn't his! End of that experience. Little bit concerned as we agreed to meet at one of the coffee places on the beach at Clifton Beach (which he spelt out to me). After not managing to find a coffee place by the beach I get a call from him saying that he was at Palm Cove! And so on for a sexual first..... Last night the phone went at 3.00am. Dulcid American tones emitted - it was Bruce from last weekend. Professing undying love. Whether the result of an empty bed, emotional turmoil, being half awake and the aftermath of alcohol we did enter into telephone sex. Him imagining me... me imagining 'S' (ex boyfriend) (I know! slap my wrists!). Never done it before, but it was interesting! Though felt my use of vocabulary wasn't as flowery as it could be (must read some more Mills & Boons bodice ripper books). He then proceeded to ring me back at 4.00am. Then at 7.04am (turned phone off then), then 7.17am then 7.30 am now he's calling at 20.40 and now again at 23.43 and finally 23.51 - I have now turned my phone off again - at this rate I will not even be able to put it back on again! A girl's got to get her beauty sleep. Found out he is 53 - told him I would see him when he grows his chest hairs..... but I think chest hairs or not it's going to have to be in true Aussie style 'Gdday Bruce!'. As a footnote, S(ex boyfriend) did call on Friday night just as I was going out with Christian - my gay tenant and I haven't returned the call. Not sure how to play this one.... also, trying to work out his new relationship with Belle - I have just remembered that she was travelling in September and October, so if they got together in August it means that they have only had a few weeks together... Should be interesting ... wonder how long it's going to last when Belle who definitely is a 'nice' girl is never taken out to dinner, theatre or cinema. All her social life is spent drinking and watching her boyfriend get sozzled. Their only day together is Sunday and we are talking about a man who left her 40th birthday party because he thought her friends were boring! Trace of bitterness perhaps creeping in there? Realism and a certain amount of - if you want him you can HAVE him - warts (of which there are many) and all! Well, it was her who called "S" a "functioning alcoholic" - so she has definitely stepped in with eyes wide open and brain closed! I know one is supposed to be all human and buddhist and say that if you love someone then you should wish them to be happy, but hey, looks like I am not the perfect human being. My karma over this one will be shot into the next 5 reincarnations to atone for my evil thoughts. Had a long conversation with Matt today (hobbies surfing and gym!)- another POF contact... aged 28! Whoops! He wants to come and stay with me so I said it would be better to chat on the phone first. So we had a good chat - he seemed to be down to earth and straightforward (though if he was an axe murderer, I am sure as a criminal profiler they would act the same). If his picture is anything to go by he can come up and stay tomorrow! Though wouldn't mind seeing some more pics... in case he only has one eye. Talking has ticked the box against any speech impediments. Just worried this one might be too good to be true (certainly very sexy.. not sure about the mental meeting of two minds, but hey... he can string a sentence together and laugh at my jokes!)

ss

Anyone for snorkelling?

I was put on the other boat today. Doesn't go to the pontoon but stops at three separate dive/snorkle sites on the Agincourt Reef.

Can you believe the Barrier Reef is as big as New Zealand/Italy?

Aaah bliss.. away from Min the Merciless. But from one gloomy outlook to another kind!

Last night it pissed down with rain of over 200mm in just 24 hours - wettest Cairns day EVER! A record breaker!

The moment we saw a Frigate fly over there were mutterings about frigate=storm.. and soon enough the squall hit.

We were hardly out of Port when a frenzied game of pass the vomit bags began. Pale faced groaning passengers retasted their breakfasts as the first surge of the waves made the boat roll as reverse peristalsis resulted. All shoved under their noses with plastic gloved hands (can't be too careful with any wayward splashes!).


And if you were wondering.. yes I was the snorkel guide today as part of my training and this was what I was snorkelling in. Underneath looking down at the divers in the calm depths I know where I would have rather been!

The current was sweeping everyone towards the back of the boat. Boy, did I get a workout today trying to keep everyone in an orderly group - behind the boat and not swept by the current to either sides of the boat.



Did so much finning that I rubbed raw my burn blister (a splodge shaped 1 inch diameter blister from when I dropped hot fat on my foot) from frantic finning friction.





One good thing about this boat is it's full of people taking refuge from Merciless Min. Apparently some people only work on this boat as they refuse to work with her on the other one .. way to go!

Dave the main guy is originally a London lad, who has worked for 8 years, and to use a cliche - the atmosphere between the two boats is like chalk that's extra chalky and cheese that's extra cheesy!

Did go to a Plenty of Fish date last week... enter Dean...

We met in a hotel area looking at asians enjoying swimming in the pool. When I asked if they served any drinks he said they didn't serve anything. I said that even a glass of water would be good (I'd been running around, and waiting for him for 15 minutes in the sun as he was late), but nowhere was there even a glass of water to be had. That's a good idea for a hot date location!

His photos showed a natural light brown head of hair. My first thought was aaaah! He had died his hair jet black, though had left the grey sideboards - strange look. Under the auspice of his raven mop in contrast was his brilliant white training shoes.

He mentioned he was ultra ultra hot on bodily and house cleanliness. He split up from his last girlfriend because she didn't listen to him. His advice to me when I said that I watched the TV was that it could hurt your eyes. I said that it was OK I used my computer at the same time. He said that that was doubly bad for the eyes. He was pretty direct and asked me if I found him attractive. I did say he wasn't really my type, with the word ANAL!! bleeping subliminally from my brain and almost made it off the tip of my tongue.

I did line up a date for after this one... Marius was in a meeting till 3.00 so he was going to call me when he got out about where to meet - we were due to meet at 6.00pm. No texts. No voicemails. I did text - no reply. So at 5.45 my last voicemail was that I was leaving and if he didn't call me in 10 minutes then I was going home...... and haven't heard from him since, even for an apology, or a rebook. Nothing like being rejected without even meeting up!

Next date I have is next Sunday... so we shall see.... !