Enter Dean - Sucker Punch

Well, I have been trying to get back to see Simon again, but after not hearing on the phone, despite Facebook messages saying how much he wanted to see me again another Sunday comes by and I do get a message on Wednesday saying he has lost his phone and will call me when he gets one on Thursday or Friday. Still no call. (Monday I get a messsage saying he still doesn't have a phone and what's my number...)

So Saturday night I think sod it.. I am not waiting for some 25 year old that can't get his act together.

So I rang Dean (6ft 1, 32 yrs old)... Dean I saw through Plenty of Fish, and just liked his quirky photo (not the one above, but in his profile pic he is pulling a funny face) .. plus showing off a highly honed body! We had been chatting for a while and he seemed very attentive and even called me (none of that endless texting!).

So I called him and asked if he fancied meeting up that night (nothing like being spontaneous!) and he said 'I'll call you back' . The gap was him chasing up friends he had lent money to and he was trying to rein in the IOU's so he could afford to come over... which he then advised me that he couldn't as he had no money.

As it was, I said for him not to worry as driving over 100km round trip.. definitely qualified him to have his drinks bought for him that night.

I have to admit that I said that he could stay the night (in the spare room of course) if he did drive from Cairns, which was a bit of a gamble in case it all went pear shaped. Later he told me he had thought the same thing and put a tent and sleeping bag in his car.. just in case!

We met up at the Courty. My initial impressions was a man who had made an effort for a date. He had a clean ironed shirt on and jeans.. and sparkly eyes and a ready smile.

He is an easy man to talk to and I immediately was endeared to him.

He is studying Tarot card reading, he writes poems, yet his aim is to be a professional boxer (but have to say his nose looks very aqualine and his ears have no cauliflowerness about them). He is training at the moment 5 nights a week. By day he is a carpenter, but there is a sensitivity about him to the point of him asking me if I wanted to go on spiritual weekend!

He says he is also psychic. Really strange, on Sunday morning I had a song in my head and was just humming it (can't remember the last time I did that) he asked me what the song was and if I knew the words.... to which I replied that I didn't know any words. He then laughed and said that he had had a premonition of meeting a girl who was humming a song that didn't know the words.

We did imbibe quite a lot of drinks.. but not drunk.. just relaxed and happy. When we got back to my house we had a few more beers, chatted and before we knew it we had locked lips!

So there goes the problem about the spare room! What a wonderful night.... The neighbours must have wondered what had hit them.. as I realised that the bed head, not being attached to the wall or the bed, was giving a loud advertising drumming which was a little disconcerting as I was trying to reach out to anchor it through the proceedings.

We just literally seemed to connect... and you know how it is when lovemaking ends up being more about a language of love than a wham bam thank you man! Also, I know this sounds strange, but we made love with a lot of eye contact.... which is such a real close thing to do.

He is an absolute gentleman...

The next day we went to breakfast and lazed by the pool. At breakfast he stood up and came back to return my napkin that had blown off my knee. I cooked a dinner and he washed up and put the rubbish out. I really consider that it's not a put on, he seems genuine and also is a good listener and caring person.

After my last relationship with 'S' finding someone who is empathetic, giving and caring about someone else is important to me.

He is also was talking about all the things we could do together.... aah.. a man with some get up and go!

He has pulled himself through life.. he was married. His girlfriend got pregnant and though he wanted the child she secretly went and got an abortion .. So he split up with her. Then she plagued him and they got back together and married. Two months after they married she went off with his best friend.

So he has pulled himself through the doldrums after that and is now out the other side (this happened 3 years ago).

I asked him why he went on a dating site and he said to meet women with a different perspective and to learn from them.

I did tell him my real age and he wasn't phased. Though I am not sure as I know he wants children.

He stayed again on Sunday night and then got up at 4.00am to be able to get to work by 6.00am.

He did text on Monday morning " Thank you 4 a great weekend your such a sweet lady ox".... (for your info I am sure it wasn't lady ox as in male cow.. but a hug and a kiss!)

So know I feel that we both felt a lot for each other... but we are teetering....

It certainly brings to the surface many questions that I have... I don't want to rush into another relationship (which I know he is keen not to), Do I really want to be in a relationship, Am I ready, Is this a rebound, Am I in this for the right reasons, Am I strong enough to face any bad endings, If I am not sure, then should I? If I was sure then there wouldn't be questions... and just seem to go round in circles.

I have a feeling that he is also going through the same dilemma.

Maybe a case of slowly slowly... I certainly don't want to hurt him, which committing too quickly could well do.

Reserves.. hope the money situation improves for him.. my alcohol radar is up also.. I think he likes a beer... but then I am soooo sensitive after past experience to any minute microscopic speck of alcoholic tendencies.

So that's certainly side swiped me .. talk about a punch from out of nowhere!

How weird just writing this and switched on the TV and up popped Green Wing.. The actor in it (who looks similar to Dean) is just about to sleep with a much older woman..... that then turns out to be his Mother...

Though have to say that at 17 years difference.. I could JUST about be his Mum.. if I started extremely early!

• 

• 
  

Tropical Villa in Costa Rica..... Casa Dulce mi casa!

WELCOME TO CASA DULCE.....

It's official!

I am now the owner of a beautiful house in Costa Rica...

Yes, Costa Rica...

You may very well ask.. why the heck Costa Rica!

After selling my flat in London, the money has been sitting literally gathering dust in the UK. The Australian dollar is so strong at the moment that I can't pull any sterling over here.

I can't afford to buy another place in London.

I also am concerned about the global economic situation. European currency and the Euro after Greece and lack of confidence in European economics is now pushing up the plummeting dollar again. Also I am becoming wary of banks and financial institutions.

So I have launched myself into US dollars. I don't want to keep it sitting in a bank so buying somewhere in Costa Rica where I lived for 3 years means I get buy something good for my money with a good rental income.

With my business head on my shoulders .. I could be looking at a reasonable 10-15% return on investment on this.. and I still get the land and a house at the end!

Ok Ok, I also fell in love with the house.

I went to visit Soo and Cham my friends and noticed a new house had been built next door. I stopped to admire it and took a photo of the front door (I do go around taking photos of designs or things I like). As I was about to go the door opened Frankenstein castle stylee and a head popped round. It was one of the workmen. I grabbed the opportunity and asked if I could look round. Magnifico! Aaah I thought what a beautiful place, one day.......

On chatting with Soo and Cham they told me that it was for sale, the owner was desperate to sell and would take offers. I put in an offer 130k less than the asking price and he settled for $100k less!

To put it into perspective - I could buy a garage in London , a studio shoe box in Sydney... or a beautiful villa in Costa... what's not to like!

I even have a month wait for legal permits that my wonderful lawyer in Costa Rica has said that if the permits aren't forthcoming then the price goes down another $40k!

Getting to 50 years old I am very aware of trying to pave my way for my retirement. With the thought that if I can make investments that will give me money returns then it will help when I am in my dotage.

It has 2 beds and 2 baths and there is also enough land to build a 3rd bedroom and bathroom so that could be a good option perhaps later on.

I like the idea of perhaps living over there with my best friend when we can be 2 batty women together!

So here is my new property....

If only I could pull it over to Australia!

I will be doing a blog soon on my house in Port Douglas.. I am gradually turning it round from a 80's throw up to a 2012's dream... The peach walls and surfaces are gradually disappearing...

When I am nearing the end I will do the 'before' and 'after' pics.

Dying from Parkinson's

Just received an email from my Godmother who visited my Father, expressing concern for my Father's state.

My Father has Parkinson's and at age 77 had to be admitted to a care home to cater for his needs after my Mother died (3 years ago). His intelligence is fine (and as a scientist he has a keen brain and intellect) but his logical and common sense aspect is not so in tune sometimes.

In her visit my Father was talking about his will and when my Godmother left, he said he was unsure when they would meet again.

Advanced stages of Parkinson are not good. My Godmother has said that him sitting there thinking of where this disease will end is a grim reality for him of things to come....

The following I found on the internet:

Dying from Parkinson's

Dying from Parkinson's is not linear or mechanical. It has multiple pathways.

• The mind can go to the point where the body becomes deregulated.
• The body can go to the point where one is no longer strong enough to breathe and suffocates.
• Other body systems can weaken and fail, together or in sequence.
• Some people just sleep longer and longer and finally do not wake up.
• Some lose the desire to eat and eventually just fade away from not eating.

All of these pathways are active at the same time and act at different rates for different people, sometimes getting worse and sometimes getting better. I've known a number of people with the disease, each has had different pathways take them to the end. A friend's father, who died recently had a particularly difficult death.


We all have to go through the death of parents.. that's a fact of life that isn't touched on when one is younger.

Being here in Australia there is guilt for being so far away and with a sister who is also not well (she has fybromyalgia) - I am the only family member left who is healthy.

I have managed to spend time with my Father every year, 3 months in 2010 and 2 weeks in 2011, but I know it is no replacement for being there.

It has also made me realise that having no children of my own or husband, that when I meet my dotage having people around that care will be a privilege rather than a matter of course.

What I am pleased to see is that the staff at the care home where Dad is seem to genuinely like him - and through the stammering words and shakiness they can see his true humour and intellect shine like a rainbow through the drops of rain.

Poor Dad.. my heart goes out to him..

Am I safe to gloat... life's small pleasure?

The definition of gloat (one of life's small pleasures):

My exboyfriend 'S' and new girlfriend Belle are now 'official'

Facebook has thrown up the 'I'm in a relationship' flag.

Took me somewhat by surprise.. big red heart flashes up on my Facebook under both their names as their status. I don't imagine 'S' doing this so it must be Belle's update.

Only one comment from 'S's relative saying "looks like things are going well with you" .

So none of his or our friends has commented.... mmmmm... life is full of little victories (or does that make me a sad jealous cow!).


Maybe the last laugh might be on me... have to be careful about these type of things...

Message from Simon (25yr old rugby player.. see previous blog). Haven't heard from him for a while. I did text him on his phone, but no reply, so rather perplexed as I didn't think it went that badly on our evening together, but in my maturity, thought not to push it. So surprised to receive this message on Facebook yesterday:

• hey baby how u doin? been in cardwell worken since wednesday sorry couldnt call as i have lost my phone,bummer cause i really want to catch up with you!

• i wanna make love to you day baby!

Honest in its sentiment me thinks, but despite all the communications means available to modern man.. not sure if he is flaky, forgetful or just can't get his act together. Obviously flesh is willing... but inclination to follow up .. poor.


I have the roster from hell from work.. after my spitting the dummy episode I have been advised - not to plan anything for Sunday for the next two weeks.. as I am working them (only day Simon has off) and any day off rostered (only 1 a week) don't bet on it as we might pull you in to work. So the next two weeks anyway I keep my head down and bite my lip and just turn up at work.

I know I have been meaning to write about work, but everything just seems so overwhelming at the moment. Having to now face Sarcy (short for sarcastic) Sharky (the Skipper of one of the boats) who has it in for me.. today in exasperation I said 'I just don't seem to do anything right!".. he is pulling me to pieces left right and centre. On Saturday he was ultra rude and threatened me with a verbal warning (which he has no power to do) just because I didn't signal OK on the surface when I was helping some divers! Rich the Supervisor has said today about Sharky 'he hasn't got good communication skills'...... you don't say! What's that about sharks being dangerous? This one certainly won't bite my leg off but it will severely dent my self confidence!

Saturday was a low ebb for me.. just wanted a friend to be around, someone to talk to, you know how it is.. trouble shared and all that malarcay.... felt particularly despondent about everything... but these feeling as always are self indulgent... so got to get that stiff upper lip out, dust it down and affix with super glue. I just seem to be the punch bag for some people's insecurities, meglomaniacal tendencies and general rudeness.

Also, after spitting the dummy about having Sunday off.. to be shown the roster with such relish that I will have no Sundays off (where other people around me are having days off liberally sprinkled like hyperactive confetti throughout their rosters).

I do get on with some people at work... but most still treat me like I don't exist. Sometimes I will say something and no one even pays me attention. There are certainly those at work who I do get on with, but others who look right through me.

It has been a lonely week for me.. feeling quite high and dry.

I have had a couple living here for 3 nights through airbnb - Greg and Mary


A lovely $170 extra income this week. Greg was the one I was mainly in contact with. They arrive on Thursday morning - both looking like two sweating beetroots. Sunburnt, sweaty, and his girlfriend was in the shape of a beetroot too! She managed a 'hello' before disappearing into the bedroom. They spent the day in bed and that was the only time I saw her. Saw Greg use my computer to book tours, he was cooking meals (she wasn't stupid.. he's a chef!) and chatting to me about things to do. He was a lovely man, friendly, not an ugly or fat man and seemed to be the one doing all the running around. I suggested on Saturday night they should go out.. but she just wanted to stay in the bedroom. I imagined her (yep.. I can say she was rather obviously obese) just lying there, whilst this accommodating, friendly boyfriend scurries around meeting her needs. Rather akin methinks to the Queen Bee with her worker bee!

Never saw Mary again..

Eat your heart out Metamorphosis by Kafka... I imagined her lying in the downstairs bedroom with her royal jelly and her downy yellow and black striped body hair.

Getting in the scrapes

You know when you get that hard skin on your knees and elbows... On me it goes a darker colour "P" even joked that it looked like I had carpet burns. So me being oversensitive found me trying to scrape it off with sandpaper yesterday. In my enthusiasm I think I overexerted myself.

No hard skin left... just red raw skin. Lounging hy the pool today and my sore knees were a veritable playground for the flies - well at least something likes them!

My 'exile' finishes tomorrow and start back at work for a couple of days.

Tomorrow my car is ready! Mechanics bill of $2000 - I asked them to forward it to the car dealership. I have been in contact with Consumer Affairs, Office of Fair Trading and Community Legal Service, so priming myself for the next bout - start polishing those boxing gloves!

Spat the dummy at work

I will be writing a longer blog post on work. Just building up to it.

Just a little ditty about where I work.. I received my roster for last week, including a Sunday off.

A Sunday is the only day that Simon gets off so we organised to meet up.

On Friday afternoon I was advised 'you have Saturday off and on standby for Sunday'.

I exclaimed with frustration to the Japanese supervisor, 'oh shit... that means I have to cancel Sunday'. Oh dear.. my mouth exclaimeth too mucheth!

From small beginnings big mole hills grow. So she got upset that I was upset and went to get her head honcho dive supervisor boyfriend who in no uncertain terms said:

"You will have tomorrow off, and you will come in to work on Sunday, and if we don't need you we will send you home"

I did say at the end of the day to her that I apologise profusely for my outburst (was thinking of the hari kiri knife in the stomach Japanese apology technique), but she was OK.

I realise also, that if I voice a preference for choosing days off, that in low season I will be knocking on the door asking for work as they assign slim work pickings to other people.

Sure enough....................

Thank goodness she called me on Saturday at 5.30pm to be told that I wasn't working Sunday (hence me jumping on the bus at 6.15 to see Simon) she didn't have to do that and could have called me 7.00am on Sunday morning for that one! So owe her one!

My days off this week have now been Saturday, Sunday, Monday (sent home), Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday! Aaah their revenge is a sweet dish.

"P" for pause

Met up with "P" last night.



We had a lovely night - I offered for him to stay the night - with whatever inference that meant - not even knowing myself! With the hanging question.. do I really want to see his other 22 piercings?

I thank the fact that he is a mature 44 year old in many ways and is a man of caution and intelligence.

From how he was talking yesterday, I perceive a man who treads carefully and when he advised me he had given the government $44m in tax over 15 years I thought.. he probably has reason!

We had a pub dinner and then had a detour to buy some 'home grown' via a friends house. What is it.. not having drugs for years and now twice in a week!

So went back to mine with a smoko and a wino (well, that's the local lingo). I was sitting there and realised that I don't think I had spoken for a long time. "P" certainly could talk the hind legs off a donkey talking about himself. I don't think he asks me any questions about myself. Last time he was here he was surprised about me when I showed him a few things about myself - and I thought - well, if I could get a word in edgeways, and if you actively encouraged me to talk then you might find something out about me.

He is very hyper to the point where 1am is an early night and he is up again at 6am for the sunrise. I did think - that would be a nightmare if you were in a relationship with him. Funnily enough, he said the same thing.

He had driven here in an open topped jeep - and his long hair (yes, his hair is now shoulder length - so not like the photo) had whipped his eyeball, so it wasn't the most romantic mood chatting with a man doing the impersonation of a pirate. With a tissue dapping his eye every 10 minutes.

I am not sure if he fancies me, taking it steady, wants me as a friend etc. I think if one knows another persons intentions one can bounce one's emotions off that. I find it difficult to read what he really wants.

Certainly from my part, I am pleased to keep a platonic relationship and wouldn't wish to have a physical one that would jeopardise this. Also in my old fashioned Aunt Maud way, I really would like to keep to one man at a time. Certainly Simon seems keen to see me again (the 25 yr old rugby guy), and though we are not in a relationship just like to keep things clear for my befuddled middle age brain!