The beginning of a brand new chapter

Let’s set the scene.

To clarify Penelope P in Port does pertain to Port Douglas, Australia, and not the alcoholic beverage or indeed the opposite to starboard on a boat. Though as this blog continues I am sure all angles of its uses will be explored fully.

18^th September 2011

49 years old, just finished a 6 year relationship – which has taken me from a 43 year old young cougar to a 49 definitely middle aged and feeling past it bearded lioness.

Being strong, putting on a brave face is overrated. I feel very sad and angry at the outcome where a man I love and still love has squandered what we had in the name of ego, emotional immaturity and total lack of empathy. When backed into a corner – make an exit door.

My exit door went from Sydney in New South Wales to Port Douglas Far North Queensland. Any further North and I would be in Papua New Guinea! So I bought a house, left everything in situ in our rented accommodation in Sydney including my car and slipped through to Port as smoothly as if I had been covered in olive oil.

A British citizen now a resident of tropical, beautiful Port Douglas. Fringed by the Daintree rainforest and Barrier Reef – what’s not to like for an uplifting environment. Just looking at the sunsets here can fill the craggy clawing crevices of ones heart with mellow rays of peace – well that’s the idea.

My first night was graced with a showing of the film Elizabeth I. Good to see the toughest Queen of England lost her heart to Robert Dudley. Her penance was to let him live after he was proved a traitor. This was to serve as a painful reminder to her of her human frailty. As an added token action she hacked off her long auburn locks in a symbolic gesture of becoming married only to her people and becoming a born again virgin.

I won’t be cutting my locks off, but somehow her actions carry a resonance with me.

So this blog is the start of my new Chapter. I will keep this updated with ideas, concepts, drunken, sober moments, philosophical outpourings and observances.

19^th September

Ooooh yes.. self indulgence…

Just bought a car today. You might think – aah yes, a small little run around incognito, or a 4x4 so I can go on all those rough terrain expeditions for camping and diving. Nooo… I buy a beautiful sea blue VW Beetle that EVERYONE will know it’s me driving! Could be interesting.

There is a story behind this…

When I lived in London I bought a classic VW Beetle – with its original light blue egg colour. A friend of mine was a car sprayer and offered to spray the car. So I select a beautiful vibrant metallic blue that echoed a cool blue lagoon– one that you could just dive into. On going to pick it up looking for the car he points to a VW in the corner - transformed into a metallic swamp green colour a massive dung beetle of a car. Followed by the comment “well they didn’t have the colour you wanted” So 500 pounds down and a swamp green VW emerged. 6 months later I blow up the back end and another ‘friend’ offered to replace the engine for me. Replacement engine that he installed blew up one day later. Due to it being second hand reconditioned with no guarantees that was an expensive day’s driving for another 500 pounds. It did manage a trip from London to Manchester but that did involve me and my Dutch boyfriend at the time both wrapped up in sleeping bags as we trundled at 50 mph up the M1. I have never sold a car where somebody had to come to tow it away.

And so my dream after that was to have a VW Beetle – sea lagoon blue, but with modern ‘bits’ (yep, I am so technical!).

Woke up this morning with a slight self indulgent sniffle, and driving the beautiful journey from Cains to Port Douglas, get the odd wistful lump in the throat when a particularly ‘press the buttons’ song comes on the radio.

Did stop taking my HRT pills for a week last week, so maybe just the knock on from that as I think it’s less PMT (pre menstrual tention ) more like PMS (post menopausal sniffles).

Went to see a medium yesterday, quickie 15 minutes for $20 – I asked him to speak quickly so I could get my monies worth. Bottom line, I am sensitive, I need to be organized, my guardians are my Mother, my Uncle and a Warlord (he is going to have his work cut out with my Mother!) and everything is going to be OK and I have a good soul (I presume he wasn’t talking about my new shoes). He did say that I had travelled extensively (my sunburnt complexion could have been a give away) and I worked with water and boats – so that was pretty spot on being that for 8 years I was a diver and plan to return to that industry.

Tomorrow pick up my new car and drive!!!