Enter Dean - Sucker Punch

Well, I have been trying to get back to see Simon again, but after not hearing on the phone, despite Facebook messages saying how much he wanted to see me again another Sunday comes by and I do get a message on Wednesday saying he has lost his phone and will call me when he gets one on Thursday or Friday. Still no call. (Monday I get a messsage saying he still doesn't have a phone and what's my number...)

So Saturday night I think sod it.. I am not waiting for some 25 year old that can't get his act together.

So I rang Dean (6ft 1, 32 yrs old)... Dean I saw through Plenty of Fish, and just liked his quirky photo (not the one above, but in his profile pic he is pulling a funny face) .. plus showing off a highly honed body! We had been chatting for a while and he seemed very attentive and even called me (none of that endless texting!).

So I called him and asked if he fancied meeting up that night (nothing like being spontaneous!) and he said 'I'll call you back' . The gap was him chasing up friends he had lent money to and he was trying to rein in the IOU's so he could afford to come over... which he then advised me that he couldn't as he had no money.

As it was, I said for him not to worry as driving over 100km round trip.. definitely qualified him to have his drinks bought for him that night.

I have to admit that I said that he could stay the night (in the spare room of course) if he did drive from Cairns, which was a bit of a gamble in case it all went pear shaped. Later he told me he had thought the same thing and put a tent and sleeping bag in his car.. just in case!

We met up at the Courty. My initial impressions was a man who had made an effort for a date. He had a clean ironed shirt on and jeans.. and sparkly eyes and a ready smile.

He is an easy man to talk to and I immediately was endeared to him.

He is studying Tarot card reading, he writes poems, yet his aim is to be a professional boxer (but have to say his nose looks very aqualine and his ears have no cauliflowerness about them). He is training at the moment 5 nights a week. By day he is a carpenter, but there is a sensitivity about him to the point of him asking me if I wanted to go on spiritual weekend!

He says he is also psychic. Really strange, on Sunday morning I had a song in my head and was just humming it (can't remember the last time I did that) he asked me what the song was and if I knew the words.... to which I replied that I didn't know any words. He then laughed and said that he had had a premonition of meeting a girl who was humming a song that didn't know the words.

We did imbibe quite a lot of drinks.. but not drunk.. just relaxed and happy. When we got back to my house we had a few more beers, chatted and before we knew it we had locked lips!

So there goes the problem about the spare room! What a wonderful night.... The neighbours must have wondered what had hit them.. as I realised that the bed head, not being attached to the wall or the bed, was giving a loud advertising drumming which was a little disconcerting as I was trying to reach out to anchor it through the proceedings.

We just literally seemed to connect... and you know how it is when lovemaking ends up being more about a language of love than a wham bam thank you man! Also, I know this sounds strange, but we made love with a lot of eye contact.... which is such a real close thing to do.

He is an absolute gentleman...

The next day we went to breakfast and lazed by the pool. At breakfast he stood up and came back to return my napkin that had blown off my knee. I cooked a dinner and he washed up and put the rubbish out. I really consider that it's not a put on, he seems genuine and also is a good listener and caring person.

After my last relationship with 'S' finding someone who is empathetic, giving and caring about someone else is important to me.

He is also was talking about all the things we could do together.... aah.. a man with some get up and go!

He has pulled himself through life.. he was married. His girlfriend got pregnant and though he wanted the child she secretly went and got an abortion .. So he split up with her. Then she plagued him and they got back together and married. Two months after they married she went off with his best friend.

So he has pulled himself through the doldrums after that and is now out the other side (this happened 3 years ago).

I asked him why he went on a dating site and he said to meet women with a different perspective and to learn from them.

I did tell him my real age and he wasn't phased. Though I am not sure as I know he wants children.

He stayed again on Sunday night and then got up at 4.00am to be able to get to work by 6.00am.

He did text on Monday morning " Thank you 4 a great weekend your such a sweet lady ox".... (for your info I am sure it wasn't lady ox as in male cow.. but a hug and a kiss!)

So know I feel that we both felt a lot for each other... but we are teetering....

It certainly brings to the surface many questions that I have... I don't want to rush into another relationship (which I know he is keen not to), Do I really want to be in a relationship, Am I ready, Is this a rebound, Am I in this for the right reasons, Am I strong enough to face any bad endings, If I am not sure, then should I? If I was sure then there wouldn't be questions... and just seem to go round in circles.

I have a feeling that he is also going through the same dilemma.

Maybe a case of slowly slowly... I certainly don't want to hurt him, which committing too quickly could well do.

Reserves.. hope the money situation improves for him.. my alcohol radar is up also.. I think he likes a beer... but then I am soooo sensitive after past experience to any minute microscopic speck of alcoholic tendencies.

So that's certainly side swiped me .. talk about a punch from out of nowhere!

How weird just writing this and switched on the TV and up popped Green Wing.. The actor in it (who looks similar to Dean) is just about to sleep with a much older woman..... that then turns out to be his Mother...

Though have to say that at 17 years difference.. I could JUST about be his Mum.. if I started extremely early!

• 

• 
  

Tropical Villa in Costa Rica..... Casa Dulce mi casa!

WELCOME TO CASA DULCE.....

It's official!

I am now the owner of a beautiful house in Costa Rica...

Yes, Costa Rica...

You may very well ask.. why the heck Costa Rica!

After selling my flat in London, the money has been sitting literally gathering dust in the UK. The Australian dollar is so strong at the moment that I can't pull any sterling over here.

I can't afford to buy another place in London.

I also am concerned about the global economic situation. European currency and the Euro after Greece and lack of confidence in European economics is now pushing up the plummeting dollar again. Also I am becoming wary of banks and financial institutions.

So I have launched myself into US dollars. I don't want to keep it sitting in a bank so buying somewhere in Costa Rica where I lived for 3 years means I get buy something good for my money with a good rental income.

With my business head on my shoulders .. I could be looking at a reasonable 10-15% return on investment on this.. and I still get the land and a house at the end!

Ok Ok, I also fell in love with the house.

I went to visit Soo and Cham my friends and noticed a new house had been built next door. I stopped to admire it and took a photo of the front door (I do go around taking photos of designs or things I like). As I was about to go the door opened Frankenstein castle stylee and a head popped round. It was one of the workmen. I grabbed the opportunity and asked if I could look round. Magnifico! Aaah I thought what a beautiful place, one day.......

On chatting with Soo and Cham they told me that it was for sale, the owner was desperate to sell and would take offers. I put in an offer 130k less than the asking price and he settled for $100k less!

To put it into perspective - I could buy a garage in London , a studio shoe box in Sydney... or a beautiful villa in Costa... what's not to like!

I even have a month wait for legal permits that my wonderful lawyer in Costa Rica has said that if the permits aren't forthcoming then the price goes down another $40k!

Getting to 50 years old I am very aware of trying to pave my way for my retirement. With the thought that if I can make investments that will give me money returns then it will help when I am in my dotage.

It has 2 beds and 2 baths and there is also enough land to build a 3rd bedroom and bathroom so that could be a good option perhaps later on.

I like the idea of perhaps living over there with my best friend when we can be 2 batty women together!

So here is my new property....

If only I could pull it over to Australia!

I will be doing a blog soon on my house in Port Douglas.. I am gradually turning it round from a 80's throw up to a 2012's dream... The peach walls and surfaces are gradually disappearing...

When I am nearing the end I will do the 'before' and 'after' pics.

Dying from Parkinson's

Just received an email from my Godmother who visited my Father, expressing concern for my Father's state.

My Father has Parkinson's and at age 77 had to be admitted to a care home to cater for his needs after my Mother died (3 years ago). His intelligence is fine (and as a scientist he has a keen brain and intellect) but his logical and common sense aspect is not so in tune sometimes.

In her visit my Father was talking about his will and when my Godmother left, he said he was unsure when they would meet again.

Advanced stages of Parkinson are not good. My Godmother has said that him sitting there thinking of where this disease will end is a grim reality for him of things to come....

The following I found on the internet:

Dying from Parkinson's

Dying from Parkinson's is not linear or mechanical. It has multiple pathways.

• The mind can go to the point where the body becomes deregulated.
• The body can go to the point where one is no longer strong enough to breathe and suffocates.
• Other body systems can weaken and fail, together or in sequence.
• Some people just sleep longer and longer and finally do not wake up.
• Some lose the desire to eat and eventually just fade away from not eating.

All of these pathways are active at the same time and act at different rates for different people, sometimes getting worse and sometimes getting better. I've known a number of people with the disease, each has had different pathways take them to the end. A friend's father, who died recently had a particularly difficult death.


We all have to go through the death of parents.. that's a fact of life that isn't touched on when one is younger.

Being here in Australia there is guilt for being so far away and with a sister who is also not well (she has fybromyalgia) - I am the only family member left who is healthy.

I have managed to spend time with my Father every year, 3 months in 2010 and 2 weeks in 2011, but I know it is no replacement for being there.

It has also made me realise that having no children of my own or husband, that when I meet my dotage having people around that care will be a privilege rather than a matter of course.

What I am pleased to see is that the staff at the care home where Dad is seem to genuinely like him - and through the stammering words and shakiness they can see his true humour and intellect shine like a rainbow through the drops of rain.

Poor Dad.. my heart goes out to him..

Am I safe to gloat... life's small pleasure?

The definition of gloat (one of life's small pleasures):

My exboyfriend 'S' and new girlfriend Belle are now 'official'

Facebook has thrown up the 'I'm in a relationship' flag.

Took me somewhat by surprise.. big red heart flashes up on my Facebook under both their names as their status. I don't imagine 'S' doing this so it must be Belle's update.

Only one comment from 'S's relative saying "looks like things are going well with you" .

So none of his or our friends has commented.... mmmmm... life is full of little victories (or does that make me a sad jealous cow!).


Maybe the last laugh might be on me... have to be careful about these type of things...

Message from Simon (25yr old rugby player.. see previous blog). Haven't heard from him for a while. I did text him on his phone, but no reply, so rather perplexed as I didn't think it went that badly on our evening together, but in my maturity, thought not to push it. So surprised to receive this message on Facebook yesterday:

• hey baby how u doin? been in cardwell worken since wednesday sorry couldnt call as i have lost my phone,bummer cause i really want to catch up with you!

• i wanna make love to you day baby!

Honest in its sentiment me thinks, but despite all the communications means available to modern man.. not sure if he is flaky, forgetful or just can't get his act together. Obviously flesh is willing... but inclination to follow up .. poor.


I have the roster from hell from work.. after my spitting the dummy episode I have been advised - not to plan anything for Sunday for the next two weeks.. as I am working them (only day Simon has off) and any day off rostered (only 1 a week) don't bet on it as we might pull you in to work. So the next two weeks anyway I keep my head down and bite my lip and just turn up at work.

I know I have been meaning to write about work, but everything just seems so overwhelming at the moment. Having to now face Sarcy (short for sarcastic) Sharky (the Skipper of one of the boats) who has it in for me.. today in exasperation I said 'I just don't seem to do anything right!".. he is pulling me to pieces left right and centre. On Saturday he was ultra rude and threatened me with a verbal warning (which he has no power to do) just because I didn't signal OK on the surface when I was helping some divers! Rich the Supervisor has said today about Sharky 'he hasn't got good communication skills'...... you don't say! What's that about sharks being dangerous? This one certainly won't bite my leg off but it will severely dent my self confidence!

Saturday was a low ebb for me.. just wanted a friend to be around, someone to talk to, you know how it is.. trouble shared and all that malarcay.... felt particularly despondent about everything... but these feeling as always are self indulgent... so got to get that stiff upper lip out, dust it down and affix with super glue. I just seem to be the punch bag for some people's insecurities, meglomaniacal tendencies and general rudeness.

Also, after spitting the dummy about having Sunday off.. to be shown the roster with such relish that I will have no Sundays off (where other people around me are having days off liberally sprinkled like hyperactive confetti throughout their rosters).

I do get on with some people at work... but most still treat me like I don't exist. Sometimes I will say something and no one even pays me attention. There are certainly those at work who I do get on with, but others who look right through me.

It has been a lonely week for me.. feeling quite high and dry.

I have had a couple living here for 3 nights through airbnb - Greg and Mary


A lovely $170 extra income this week. Greg was the one I was mainly in contact with. They arrive on Thursday morning - both looking like two sweating beetroots. Sunburnt, sweaty, and his girlfriend was in the shape of a beetroot too! She managed a 'hello' before disappearing into the bedroom. They spent the day in bed and that was the only time I saw her. Saw Greg use my computer to book tours, he was cooking meals (she wasn't stupid.. he's a chef!) and chatting to me about things to do. He was a lovely man, friendly, not an ugly or fat man and seemed to be the one doing all the running around. I suggested on Saturday night they should go out.. but she just wanted to stay in the bedroom. I imagined her (yep.. I can say she was rather obviously obese) just lying there, whilst this accommodating, friendly boyfriend scurries around meeting her needs. Rather akin methinks to the Queen Bee with her worker bee!

Never saw Mary again..

Eat your heart out Metamorphosis by Kafka... I imagined her lying in the downstairs bedroom with her royal jelly and her downy yellow and black striped body hair.

Getting in the scrapes

You know when you get that hard skin on your knees and elbows... On me it goes a darker colour "P" even joked that it looked like I had carpet burns. So me being oversensitive found me trying to scrape it off with sandpaper yesterday. In my enthusiasm I think I overexerted myself.

No hard skin left... just red raw skin. Lounging hy the pool today and my sore knees were a veritable playground for the flies - well at least something likes them!

My 'exile' finishes tomorrow and start back at work for a couple of days.

Tomorrow my car is ready! Mechanics bill of $2000 - I asked them to forward it to the car dealership. I have been in contact with Consumer Affairs, Office of Fair Trading and Community Legal Service, so priming myself for the next bout - start polishing those boxing gloves!

Spat the dummy at work

I will be writing a longer blog post on work. Just building up to it.

Just a little ditty about where I work.. I received my roster for last week, including a Sunday off.

A Sunday is the only day that Simon gets off so we organised to meet up.

On Friday afternoon I was advised 'you have Saturday off and on standby for Sunday'.

I exclaimed with frustration to the Japanese supervisor, 'oh shit... that means I have to cancel Sunday'. Oh dear.. my mouth exclaimeth too mucheth!

From small beginnings big mole hills grow. So she got upset that I was upset and went to get her head honcho dive supervisor boyfriend who in no uncertain terms said:

"You will have tomorrow off, and you will come in to work on Sunday, and if we don't need you we will send you home"

I did say at the end of the day to her that I apologise profusely for my outburst (was thinking of the hari kiri knife in the stomach Japanese apology technique), but she was OK.

I realise also, that if I voice a preference for choosing days off, that in low season I will be knocking on the door asking for work as they assign slim work pickings to other people.

Sure enough....................

Thank goodness she called me on Saturday at 5.30pm to be told that I wasn't working Sunday (hence me jumping on the bus at 6.15 to see Simon) she didn't have to do that and could have called me 7.00am on Sunday morning for that one! So owe her one!

My days off this week have now been Saturday, Sunday, Monday (sent home), Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday! Aaah their revenge is a sweet dish.

"P" for pause

Met up with "P" last night.



We had a lovely night - I offered for him to stay the night - with whatever inference that meant - not even knowing myself! With the hanging question.. do I really want to see his other 22 piercings?

I thank the fact that he is a mature 44 year old in many ways and is a man of caution and intelligence.

From how he was talking yesterday, I perceive a man who treads carefully and when he advised me he had given the government $44m in tax over 15 years I thought.. he probably has reason!

We had a pub dinner and then had a detour to buy some 'home grown' via a friends house. What is it.. not having drugs for years and now twice in a week!

So went back to mine with a smoko and a wino (well, that's the local lingo). I was sitting there and realised that I don't think I had spoken for a long time. "P" certainly could talk the hind legs off a donkey talking about himself. I don't think he asks me any questions about myself. Last time he was here he was surprised about me when I showed him a few things about myself - and I thought - well, if I could get a word in edgeways, and if you actively encouraged me to talk then you might find something out about me.

He is very hyper to the point where 1am is an early night and he is up again at 6am for the sunrise. I did think - that would be a nightmare if you were in a relationship with him. Funnily enough, he said the same thing.

He had driven here in an open topped jeep - and his long hair (yes, his hair is now shoulder length - so not like the photo) had whipped his eyeball, so it wasn't the most romantic mood chatting with a man doing the impersonation of a pirate. With a tissue dapping his eye every 10 minutes.

I am not sure if he fancies me, taking it steady, wants me as a friend etc. I think if one knows another persons intentions one can bounce one's emotions off that. I find it difficult to read what he really wants.

Certainly from my part, I am pleased to keep a platonic relationship and wouldn't wish to have a physical one that would jeopardise this. Also in my old fashioned Aunt Maud way, I really would like to keep to one man at a time. Certainly Simon seems keen to see me again (the 25 yr old rugby guy), and though we are not in a relationship just like to keep things clear for my befuddled middle age brain!

Thought I would post this on my blog.... I think these really are wise words....

Finally! 5th time lucky meet with Simon

Remember Simon's message received on New Years Day:


babe how u doin? well first off this is bizzare! maly due to the fact that i have been trying to get in contact with u for awile now, then u pop up in a photo on face book. i was looking on that dating site plenty of fish lol,just browsing.. n stumbeld accross yourself.BOOM! how hot u are! anyway i sent a message to you regarding maybe catching up 4 a drink or dinner sometime,but couldnt seem to send. dont normally do this but as i said u caught my eye in particular, i no im only 25 but hey age is no barrier.i think anyway.pretty random all this babe but to good of n opportunity not to. if your keen let me no.would love 2.happy new year!x

Well... finally after 4 attempts to meet up... we make it!

I jump on a bus and meet him in Cairns on a Saturday night. First night out in Cairns.

We meet up at The Jack - named after the Union Jack - so took me back to my back packer days - strange to be surrounded by The Who, Beatles and Stones posters.


He tells me that he had a couple of drinks before he arrived for Dutch courage and half an E tablet. He said I in no way looked my age (40) and that he wasn't disappointed in meeting me in the flesh after my photos.

Which was just as well, as I had got the bus with 10 minutes notice.. last bus out of Port Douglas at 6.00pm and so in my rush had forgotten some makeup - so before meeting had shopped for some makeup, razors (yep.. my map of Tasmania was rather sprouting tropical forestry) and toothpaste and toothbrush. So had 'freshened' up in the toilets.

Initially he seems a bit red neckish, but he has a ready smile with dimples and glinting cheeky eyes. He seemed to know everybody in the bar and on the street, and said 'hi' to many people even giving beggars money along the street. Readily grabbing my hand to hold as we walked along.

He has an upfront honesty and is uncomplicated and before we knew it we were engrossed and chatting (I also had an E tablet.. so that probably helped!). Don't worry, last time I had any drugs was over two years ago, so I don't think I will be falling into the depths of addiction yet. Just made a good change and was certainly a night ice breaker!

He used to be a Thai boxer, but now just concentrates on union rugby. He is keen to progress a sporting career and it seems that if he works hard there is an option for him to turn professional. At the moment he works as a renderer, but I get the feeling he is at the stage of asking 'what next?'. He did ask if I wanted to see him play rugby one day.. so of course I said yes... promising that he wishes to expose me to the rest of the rugby team!

We ended up going back to his place about 10.00 pm and just hung out chatted, drunk some beers and had a few joints. I told him my real age (49) and he didn't seem perturbed.

He lives in a simple flat just down from Machan's Beach. What I liked which was rare, was that it was tidy, and even the sheets smelt clean. He even gave me a clean towel for a shower. For a 25 year old bachelor I have to admit I was impressed.

He lives where he lives so he can look after his father who has cancer and when I left today he was going over to cut the grass.

Love making was energetic - I imagine he puts the same philosophy into his sport as in his sexual performance. He liked to kiss and afterwards was very much into cuddling and spooning.

So surreal - it was about 4.00am and a shadowy figure wandered into the bedroom had a chat with Simon (whilst I was there laying in bed next to him) and then disappeared. Due to the fact that a girl had broken down his door to get into his flat his door is open (she obviously fancied him.. Simon said he did the best acting of being asleep that he could muster). Seems that it is a regular occurrence people coming round at all hours and saying 'hi'.


And yes... I have to say he has a lovely body.. phew!

I am totally flattered by this man's attentions. I even saw one of his ex girlfriends when we were out and she was goooorgeous!

He obviously has no problem attracting girls, so it is bizarre that he should have singled me out for such attention.

I thought maybe it was a case of that's it ... but when I left he still said he would come over and see me on Wednesday. So not sure where this one is going. I was hoping that we might have done something together today, but he wanted to watch the cricket and had some friends coming over.

I know he is not into having a relationship, but seems that he still wants to continue to see me, so let's see what happens. I know that the feeling is mutual with me. I don't see us moving forward as girlfriend or boyfriend, but it would be nice to have him as a friend with benefits.


Then on the phone tonight was "P"... asking when my next night off was so he can come round... oh dear... I think I could be starting to tread on ice.. Juggling men.. is bound to end up coming to a miserable ending.

Funny that the two men that I have been involved with - Gary and Simon were not really through any internet dating.....

So we shall see what happens.....

Men Update

Well life has been hectic at work with the rush of tourists for Christmas, New Year and school holidays. I have managed to have a bit of a social life. I have joined a new dating site RSVP and that's thrown up some interesting profiles.


Welcome "P" . He actually initiated actions by 'winking' at me. I actually liked his profile. He is a bit whacky, a self made man, is 44 years old ( It's all OK getting interest from 25 year olds, great for an ego massage, but looking at it objectively it's not going to go any further than a friendship and sexual encounters at best - so this is better for me). He is a man that has been through it and come out the other side. He also states that his suitable woman will be up to 50 years old (at the end of the date I said I had lied about me being 40 and he said... 'so you're around 36 yrs old then).. he really didn't believe I was 49.


So "P" more encapsulates the 'moving forward' man. No expectations of babies, family etc (he has two teenagers that live with their Mother). He is semi retired, but is one of those men that whatever he does, he does well. He is a photographer, classic car restorer and had his career as a commercial diver and a Commercial Retail Executive. He is the perpetually young man but with old shoulders and a real zest for life and a charismatic personality..mmmmm! As I wrote to him he kind of mirrors my philosophies and my life.. except I am not 6'2" when I look in my mirror!

He picks me up in a touring Harley Davidson complete with stereo system, heated seats, more bells and whistles than a bells and whistle factory! This is just one of his bikes. Me thinks.. I am liking this!

He also has an array of cars, some he uses for weddings. A funny story he told me was being called in by his son's school very concerned as his son had told his teacher that his Father was a pimp and his Mother worked for him.

After some explanation it transpired that he was referring to his Dad 'pimping' as he customises classic cars, as in the MTV show 'Pimp my Ride' .

He arrives with half a head of dreadlocks and half a head of undreads (he was between hair styles) and 44 piercings. I counted 22 around his body (nothing horrible just small studs).. and yes, my mind is boggling as to where the other 22 are. I was advised they were there for the benefit of enhancing his partner's pleasure.... my mind boggles. But he is such a charismatic figure that it really just seems exciting.

He has had cancer, broken his back, been resucitated back from death twice, fractured his skull three times (once from a baseball bat to the skull when he lived in South Africa - where he is from originally). From the many months of rehabilitation for his broken back (fell down the stairs) he gained much clarity on the meaning of life. He embraces this joy of health and life every morning by his ritualistically viewing every sunrise.

He oozes personality and a big smile, but coming from a safe and secure place.

So funny, as we get to the bar and he asks what I want. When I say cider, his eyebrows rise... and he explains that he has a severe allergy to apples. With one cider he cannot kiss me for 4 hours.. so despite my protestations to change - there goes any kissing action before we even started! Then later we went for a pizza - my chicken tikka pizza came with mango chutney (that has apples in it) so that was omitted from the ingredients. When I got home I offered him a soft drink - all except the V8 I had had apple in them! The only apple he is not allergic to is the computer!


His faults would be a tendency to like his own voice, but he is highly observant and is a retentive listener. We spent the whole night together... naaaah not what you think! talking till 5.00 in the morning on the couch whereupon we had a sunrise walk along the beach... soooo beautiful.

The sunrise we shared......(wonder if it will be the first of many?)

We said goodbye with a kiss on the lips and a hug.... I will take this slowly but there is a definite pull on this one!

In the wings (literally) is Simon (see the blog of January 1st) - who I have still yet to meet after 4 unsuccessful attempts. I know he wants to meet, but as he said today, he should be working to live, not live to work.

Simon is the one at the back

A keen rugby player, he soon will be having practice on Mon, Tues and Weds. So opportunities to meet are getting a little thin on the ground, but we are both working on it.

Yep.... pure lust, must say, just love rugby bodies - and judging by the photos he is HOT! He is 25 and has actively pursued me through seeing my face on Facebook through a mutual friend. Who am I to say no?

We talk regularly and text - he now calls me 'babe'.... but a little too close to the bone to call him 'babe' back methinks! So we are working on our 5th meeting.......... don't hold your breath




One date today with Louis (never mentioned him before), 31, was a sad,, rather poignant one. We did arrange to meet up a while ago, but when he found out I was English he thought that it was scam organised by British gypsies that he had heard of. I asked if he was mentally stable, to which he advised me that he was bi-polar but it was under control. So we then re-organised.

I am at an age to know that despite him taking control drugs and him having a mental condition the stuttering of his speech that there is still something not quite right. He is a completely lovely man, with this air of innocence, highly sensitive, but just seems to lack social coping skills.

He was emailing me declaring undying love, before I had even met him, so I have been trying to calm him down.

We did meet today and it was fine, down to him playing me my favourite songs on his phone at the lunch table. He did sink his drinks pretty quickly and I am thinking that since he drove here - he has got to be able to drive out (I was due to meet Simon tonight). I advised him that I had to leave at 5.00 - hoping that would give him the hint that he can't stay if he goes over the limit. At 4.30 he bought over two glasses of water and I thought 'great message has got home'. I bid him goodbye we had a big hug and kiss on lips and I left.

5.30 phone went when I was at home - he said he was still in Port Douglas (he lives 40 mins drive away). I was about to invite him over (since Simon had cancelled) but thought it through and said that he ought to go home. Was working out that if he came over, then he could very well be here for the long run and very difficult to get rid of and I didn't want the hassle, especially after feeling so tired after not getting any sleep last night with "P". I certainly wasn't up for any physical relationship. He's not bad looking but I just don't fancy him, and if truth be known I just know that 'going there' is a no no - I don't think he is emotionally or mentally stable, even though he is very sweet, but I think he would be the proverbial weight around the neck.

He continued to try and ring me and leave messages for the next hour. Bottom line being he had drunk more beer and that he was over the limit and basically giving me the emotional blackmail angle that if he can't come back to my house then he will have to drive back and he would be over the limit and so in a roundabout way blaming me if he gets caught by the police.

So that's how that one has been left... and left it will be!

Gary (see previous blog) called from Darwin airport to say goodbye.. as he flies out to Philippines today for a couple of months. Makes me wonder what he will return to with regard to my situation! Nothing has been said about our 'night' so presume it's a case of 'as you were'.

Old Age.... The Words of Wisdom

Just got off the phone from my Aunty Joan. Strictly speaking she is my Great Aunt, but her husband (my Grandmother's brother) was 20 years older than her.

She is now 91 years old - yet I always refer to her as the youngest oldest person I know. If you spoke to her on the phone you would be hard put to put an age to her voice.

She has always been an inspiration to me. She never had children and was one of the first female role models around where I could see that having children was not a prerequisite for happiness.

She was one of the first women policewomen in the UK and has always had a healthy, happy and hearty attitude to life. She was living in Rhodesia in the 50's and very much the ex pat colonial lifestyle.

I have always found her so approachable and we chat about boyfriends, life and love.

Today chatting we talked about old age.. Me thinks I will get all the hints that I can on how to deal with the particular stage of life.

I suppose it is a cliche but we discussed that one's whole life and the strengths and personality that we create in our lifes goes towards helping us through this difficult stage of non life. Where one's quality and spectrum of life starts to zero in to a chair in your lounge. She is now almost blind but so enjoys listening to the radio and to listening books and the phone is her lifeline and just so happy to have any human contact and interaction.

She said that it is important to lead as full a life as possible... as there will come time you can't. I remember my Mother and seeing her spirit fade when she realised that her quality of life - or the great Star Trek quote 'life as we know it' was to be no more.

So don't stagnate.. life is for living... and ironically if we live our life... then it makes it better to face our death...

So here's to tomorrow................

The top 5 regrets people have on their deathbed

31st May 2011 by Courtney Boyd Myers

http://thenextweb.com/lifehacks/2011/05/31/the-top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbeds/

Well, I was going to write a blog about the friends I have made so far here in Port, but today one of the lines between a friend was somewhat extended.

A good friend who I have known for about a month is Gary

We have kind of hung out, rung each other up and made arrangements like mates. He is my trivia quiz partner (yep, don't have that many friends for a team yet!).

He loves travel, exploring, politics and is very caring. He helped me so much when my car broke down and is one life's givers. He is a little serious at times, but we do have a good laugh now and again.

He works on the crew of a yacht moored near my work boats so we often wave and say hi to each other whilst at work.

He has never made any moves towards me or intimations that he fancied me.... almost to the point of 'no contact'. Not even a peck on the cheek. Was it the case of 'tho protesteth too much'?

Last night it was his birthday (41) so 6 of us had a little soiree dinner at the nearby Sheridan Hotel, which was lovely. The ensemble was one American chiropractor - Dick, 2 of Gary's cousins Brad (owns a helicopter business) and Ewin (just started to work as a diving instructor) (that had never met each other before), Christine (Brad's girlfriend) - who I know as we work on the same boat.

The $25 drink as much as you can wine.. went down well.........

We had a lovely evening and then went back to Dick and Gary's house (they share the house). Whereupon the lights all went down and on Dick's mega screen up came the opening credits for a James Bond film. So Dick's idea of a good night is then to watch a film... what happened to human interaction and conversation?

I was right next to Gary's feet as I was lounging on the day bed at the end of the sofa. So ended up giving Gary a foot massage.... also worried as Gary's diving instructor cousin I could feel was trying to make a play, and the arrangement was for us both to sleep downstairs on the two seperate day beds.

Luckily Gary ended up moving and lying on the bed with me where he gave me a neck and shoulder massage and whereupon............ we both fell asleep!

Woke up after everyone had gone to sleep and Gary said - 'come up stairs to my room'........ yep.. you get the picture.. so of course... up I go.

We had a lovely explore and made love, he asked me what I wanted and was attentive to my needs. I in turn was happy to oblige what he liked (thank goodness it was all within reason and didn't involve any major gymnastics or fetish moves).

I do find him attractive and he has a lovely body. Though I would like to keep him as a friend the benefits bit certainly have their 'benefits'. He is off to Philippines in 6 days for 2-3 months, so no danger of anything developing there.

So finally, after 7 months after leaving my ex, I feel, finally, that I have had a positive physical encounter. So lovely to wake up and feel a body next to me. Though I don't know if the feeling was mutual, as Gary had to turn me more times than a hyperactive rotisserie to keep me off my back to stop my snoring!

Only irony... he couldn't kiss me. Being out on the boat in the sun had cracked his lips so they were very sore! I didn't realise and thought he was doing the prostitute thing of not kissing me..

Today I was supposed to meet up with Shane - the guy who contacted me through Facebook today, but he texted to say he had to work. So Gary and I spent the day together and lazed by the Pepper pool pretending we were rich tourists!

The mystery of the wheeley bins

How weird is this.. last Thursday my wheeley bin got stolen. Just disappeared from outside on the road where it had been emptied. A scout up and down the road did not reveal any wayward wandering bin.

I have just chatted with the neighbour and advised her that my bin had been stolen to which she replied 'just ring the council and you will get one of the newer, bigger ones to replace it'.

2 minutes later there are the dulcid tones of my neighbour calling me.

Transpires that her new, bigger wheeley bin has gone missing (presumed stolen). and guess what's sitting innocently outside my door - my bin!

How bizarre.........

Lovely message to welcome the New Year in

Just received this message on my Facebook

babe how u doin? well first off this is bizzare! maly due to the fact that i have been trying to get in contact with u for awile now, then u pop up in a photo on face book. i was looking on that dating site plenty of fish lol,just browsing.. n stumbeld accross yourself.BOOM! how hot u are! anyway i sent a message to you regarding maybe catching up 4 a drink or dinner sometime,but couldnt seem to send. dont normally do this but as i said u caught my eye in particular, i no im only 25 but hey age is no barrier.i think anyway.pretty random all this babe but to good of n opportunity not to. if your keen let me no.would love 2.happy new year!x

He is a mutual friend of a couple of girls I know here. So I will do some research in that direction. Would say that written English might not seem his strong point...

Also, if he is 25, calling him 'babe' back might be a little weird....

Well, that's my ego massaged for today... and probably for the week!

Just a bit of a worry as when I asked him for a better picture of himself.. he said that the one on Facebook was a recent one... yep.. he's no. 15! So at least I will be able to recognise him from behind!

Happy New Year

And so the year finishes and a new one begins..

So what were my options on how to herald in the New Year...

People at work were talking about going to various people's houses. All the diving crew had their own plans... and no invite was extended to me despite them going round to one of their houses.

A friend invited me round to hers, but that involves a journey and a car (mute point).

And what about the other friends, one was working and finally the couple that I hang round with Mariella and Geoff asked if I wanted to go to the Courty (local slang for the Courthouse public house) - $70 for a ticket... so that was that.

So arrived at the Courty at 7.15 after madly rushing round like a blue arsed fly (not sure where that saying comes from). Mariella and Geoff were staying the night and the en suite bathroom had literally just been finished. So it was frantic hoovering, cleaning, dusting when I got back from work at 5.30. Me wondering why my Mr Fixit just hadn't finished off by taking out the debris, card board boxes and cleaned the new wall units.

The ticket was supposed to include food, but all was not boding well when I viewed a plate of prawns with a queue of 10 people leading to it. And that was only food that I saw all night. But what I did see a lot of was the free champagne which, of course, I had to get my monies worth!

Let's just say that after 12.00 my memory of events gets a little hazy.

12.00 found me sitting on the toilet. It wasn't planned - just that my bladder took me there at an unfortunate time and only realised whilst in mid flow. So what do I do....? At 11.59 I text my ex boyfriend to wish him Happy New Year and to say I missed him... NOOOOO!!! Yep! :

Three seperate messages (why didn't my brain just turn off after the first one).. but no.. I was in full flow and firing faster than an automatic rifle!

Each one getting steadily worse...

1. Hope you have a good one. Happy Birthday to Mel. Wish I was there! Happy New year! XX

2. Happy New Year

3. Miss You x

2.18 AM

Wish mel a happy birthday from me xpp
(not sure what the xpp was for.. probably a kiss and some drunken pp's added on for good measure)

Reply from him.7.03 am (which is an interesting time to text me back?) sounding pretty dead pan and not at all amused by my emotional ranting texting from earlier.

Will do. Hope your new year is a good one.

To be clear about this... with the benefit of clarity and soberness, yes I do miss him. But I made my decision for a reason and yearning for a type of relationship that he is unable to give me that will never change, so I still stand by the situation with no regrets.


In hindsight, it might have been semi subconscious to hide in the Ladies. There was a guy called Derek that was a little eerily into me saying 'I saw you here on Christmas Eve' and was hanging around me so it avoided any awkwardness in kissing him. I remember emerging and Mariella and Geoff wondering where I was so we did our Happy New Years then. After that, it now goes hazy... apparently Mariella and I danced and before I knew it we were back at my place sitting on the sofa!

Back of my mind is wondering if the December 2012 end of the Mayan cycle will effect plans for New Years Eve 2012! Strange to be welcoming in a year that has been earmarked by such uncertainty for the future.

Mayan End Age 12-21-2012

"An Apocalypse (Greek: “lifting of the veil” or “revelation”) is a disclosure of something hidden from the majority of mankind in an era dominated by falsehood and misconception, i.e. the veil to be lifted." — Wikipedia

"Both the Hopis and Mayans recognize that we are approaching the end of a World Age... In both cases, however, the Hopi and Mayan elders do not prophesy that everything will come to an end. Rather, this is a time of transition from one World Age into another. The message they give concerns our making a choice of how we enter the future ahead. Our moving through with either resistance or acceptance will determine whether the transition will happen with cataclysmic changes or gradual peace and tranquility. The same theme can be found reflected in the prophecies of many other Native American visionaries from Black Elk to Sun Bear."


So should be an interesting year ahead.....