More flaky men than the Flakes in a Cadbury Factory!

Last night had my belated PLAN A

Met up with Mr PADI.  I had taken two painkillers, snorted anti cold stuff up my nose, and practised talking like Julie Andrews so no hint of a Tunes ad lozenge voice.

We met up to see Madagascar III - must say it does rather go against his Alpha 1 SAS image, which I like!

When he arrived we kissed on the lips so that was a good sign.

He mentioned that he is competing on 5th October in a body building competition so he was in training - so he was going to the gym at 6am each morning.  Which I twigged then had a pointed meaning.....

When we left the cinema we had a bit of a kiss on the lips and I remember seeing one of my arms wrapped around his back, so I assume that the emotions were kicking in for me as I usually don't do that unless i get a carte blanche from them.  And then... like nails on a blackboard through my euphoric rose tinted mist the words  "well we'll catch up later."   Which reading between those big lines meant that he wasn't going to be seeing my new bikini wax or curling my newly pedicured toes that night.

He mentioned about coming up to Port Douglas on Wednesday (which I know is his birthday) and diving so catching up on Wednesday..

I did text him today about going diving with him and then having him round to dinner for veg and chicken/fish (that's all he is eating at the moment) but not received a reply.. perhaps pushed it a bit too much, but hey,  I am now past caring playing games... his loss!

Writing this 2 days later.  It is Wednesday.  Mr Padi called me today to tell me that he just opened my message - he has a tyre supplier whose name is Rosie and thought this message was from her.  So looks like my plans for today, Wednesday arent happening.   I mentioned about going diving on bank holiday Monday.. his reply - "It would take too much energy from me to dive on Monday .. WHAT!!!!  This is a guy who is training for a body building competition!!!! and it takes too much energy from him to dive... perhaps that's the reason why sex is off the agenda at the moment.  


So it looks like cinema on Friday.... but I am not going to hold my breath on that one! 





 


Today I received 'sorry' text from flaky Simon and saying about meeting up this week... Had boxing Eric saying he was coming back tomorrow from his 2 week work stint and wanted to see me... so not spoilt for offers (writing this 2 days later he was supposed to come round tonight - Wednesday - but he fell asleep!).






Also had a recent development..............................






Enter Craig - an old flame that I met 12 years ago in Thailand and we had a 'thing' and then caught up again in London one night about 10 years ago and had a lovely time....

He now lives in South Africa in Cape Town..






Ok this is some fragments of Craigs messages to me:

"I was thinking what a cool time we had in that pub in London,  you remember? Love your humour, hair, bum, boobs, you know what I mean don't you?  Would so love to see you again. That was October last year.

I commented on his Facebook last month that I was sorry that he had split with his girlfriend of about a year when I saw his status had changed to 'single'.

Hi s message came through

"Dude, you look so happy.  Awesome.  Love your photos and your humour, hahahaha your so special"

My reply

"Craig.  Thank you for such a lovely message.. so sorry to see that you are no longer with your girlfriend.  You were looking so happy together. I hope you are OK.  You are also a special person to me I will always have a fond place in my heart for you"

Craig

Oh Rosie!!! She was just so rude to me. I cant handle that I'm afraid. She is lovely,  very, but life goes on .  You are also so special you actually crack me up with your humour.  You are so damn funny!! And original, observant, should I stop? No and.....

How are you enjoying Oz, you look so happy, as usual All my best my angel.

My next reply was to test the water about coming to South Africa to see him after my trip to the UK.

Craig

Hey Honey, Huge time difference between us.  When in Oct were you thinking of? I am in Bangkok from 16-26, but it would be so good to see u again. Can u make the dates work?

I mentioned that I was thinking of November.

Craig

Leave will be an issue in Nov, in fact I'm on minus days already, but how long you think you will come down for, and when do you need to know by?  Good to be in contact again

My Reply

Don't worry about taking days off i am self sufficient we can catch up in evenings and weekends. 

2 days later reply......................................

Sent a text asking if he had fallen off the edge of the world (seems to be my most used phrase at the moment.. that is rather indicative of my whole male flaky man situation)

Then..........  ah yes... this is a good one......

Hey, No, I'm still on this round planet of ours.  I was away for a couple of days.  Rosie I need to tell you something and for me the best way is openess and truth.  Alice, my gf had a huge problem with another friend of mine coming to stay with me at my house.  this was just last week in fact.  Alice lives in Hong Kong and with the distance demons can form in ones mind, even the best reassurances sometimes are not enough.  As much as I want to see you, staying at mine is not an option.  It is sad but true.  She is just no in a secure enough space to not be hurt and I can hurt her.  Does this make sense?

I would love to see you when youare here ad I will take a day off or two to show you around and of course the weekends are free.  Let me know how you feel, I hope I haven't let my friend down but I speak from the heart always, Me.

 My Reply

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! (no that was what I was thinking when I typed this reply.......)

Thank you for your honest reply.  I am confused.. I thought u were single and didn't have a girlfriend.  So she is in hong kong for a short while? If I had know I wd have never suggested my visiting (Me  - between the lines and if she ISN"T YOUR GIRLFRIEND .. then what the fuck are you doing telling her about your life when she lives in Hong Kong and you live in South Africa - You are SINGLE!!!)

I have always felt a connection with u and thought that providence was indeed shining on me.  I want to meet you again but the situation is not conduscive.  I want to meet you under sunshine and happiness not clouds and consternation.

I hope that destiny will one day give us time together to explore each other more fully .  I hope our time will come some time.  Until then I look forward keeping in contact with u and hope that we can develop that aspect of our friendship.  It would be lovely to tak to u.  One can't beat the sound of someone's voice and laughter.

I thank you for your honesty , which only makes me respect you more.  All the best with u and much thoughts Rosie:)

So yet another person more chocalatey than a Cadbury Ripple!

Plan A, B, C D and finally E

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So it’s Saturday.  My house is empty.  No one renting.. so I have the place ALL to my self.  But what to do… 3 plans…..

PLAN A

I took the plunge and texted Mr PADI on Friday as he had told me he was coming back on Wednesday.  Yep, shouldn’t have, but hey… felt confident and gungho and almost got to the point where I threw caution to the wind.

So out went the text ‘How’s it all going. Have your feet landed in cairns for a bit?  Fancy taking them to the cinema with me? .  With the enthusiastic reply ‘That sounds good probably Saturday would be best.’

To be honest, I was expecting a non committal text like ‘ok, busy for a while but sometime next week’.

So rather surprised I got the Saturday night slot!   So my shaky plan A now becomes B and this is now Plan A.

So last night (Friday) I called him, but since there was no reply I left a message on his phone to ask if he could let me know time and place.  I did think that maybe he meant it was an afternoon showing as he might not want to make it a night , in which case I have Plan A and Plan B!

Nothing by the next morning on Saturday at 10.00 so texted him again.. Received a reply ‘Hey Rosie, call you in a bit’……………………………………………………………………………………………………..3.38pm… I texted him again “Everything ok…..  still on for later?”

Finally a phone call at 4.00.  Seems he is in the middle of doing an IE (Instructors Exam) and said he would be free by 9.30pm.  I said I would leave at 8.30pm from Port Douglas.  He then suggested that we wait until tomorrow night as he doesn’t have a busy evening and we have more time together. Fine by me!  So that’s how we left it… immediately went to Plan B.  Sent a text asking if we were still on for tonight?

PLAN B

Well all was ‘organised’ with Mr Flakey himself.  Simon (see blog of 15th January) That he couldn’t meet me Friday “Sorry, hun can’t do Friday – said I would look after a friend on his birthday make it Saturday’.   So I text him on Friday saying that I could pick him up on Saturday  and take him up to Port Douglas .  Oh yes.. I bend over backwards so much sometimes I can see the souls of my feet!

Now, I would be accused of flogging a dead horse here.  But he is the one continually sending me texts like ‘really want to see you hun’ ‘Babe keen to see you” ‘Babe, I really wanna make love to you all night I swear’ ‘Just got a new phone you sexy beast’ (his 4^th one this year!) ‘Be good to see you babe’.   And if you remember from previous blogs he was the one who sent me a very lovely Facebook message on new years day.  So despite almost texting  every other weekend.. we have only met up twice this year! 

So Plan A right from the onset was looking doubtful based on previous experience.

PLAN C

Call up Jackie and go out with her.  I had told her that I was planning to go out with Mr Padi so she wasn’t expecting me to be around.  Texted her at 5.00pm. explaning what was happening.  She called me and woefully told me that she had just arranged to have dinner and stay with her parents who are over here visiting from the UK.  She is having a hard time with her husband at the moment so she said she just had to get out of the house so had made arrangements.

PLAN D

Do the Whitesnake hit…. Going down the only road I’ve ever known.. yep going it alone.  So it’s me, myself and I going out tonight!

PLAN E
 Today I had a pedicure, I had a bikini wax.. so all primped and primed for ‘action’  and then literally two hours ago my nose started running and I am sneezing and I have now the fastest onset of a cold.  In the time of typing this.. I now know what a streaming cold is... my nostrils are literally leaking!  

So I am thinking that it might just be as well that there was no Plan A’s or B’s tonight..  It’s not the most alluring sniffing through a film.. or indeed an intimate love making session!  So looks like Plan E is staying in and hoping that I run out of liquids and knock this cold on the head.

So big part of a new plan tomorrow… buy some of that stuff from a pharmacy that dries colds up and hope that it can last a whole night.  That maybe assuming wrongly that I will end up tomorrow night sharing Mr Padi’s pillows.

Barrier Reef Here We Come

How wonderful Facebook is.

I hear through Facebook that Janina and Charlotte - 2 girls I met 8 years ago in Honduras, that I worked with as diving instructors, are travelling up the coast and will be calling on me in Port Douglas.

I have lived in Australia now for 3 years and despite all the best intentions to go and visit friends it is such a large country and haven't made it...

How funny.. this seems to be the year for catching up with all my friends that have moved to Oz.

Met up with all my friends in Western Australia when I was over there earlier this year which was lovely (one girl also from Honduras that Janina and Charlotte know).

And so now double whammy they are coming to see lil ol' me!

And... yep.. we are all going diving!  My first proper fun dive that I have done without working here!

And a chance to dust down my camera and housing and take some photos.... first time my camera has seen the Coral Sea!

Charlotte and Janina

My photos of The Coral Sea...

We explored the Daintree Rainforest, swam in the Mossman Gorge River and had a stroll in one of the oldest Rainforests in the world.

We reconnected with fond memories of our little Caribbean island home and our lives there.  Charlotte, I have the impression, with 2 young boys and living with her husband (who she met on the island) is feeling totally cut off from girlfriends and this trip I suspect was more for a complete change of scenery for Charlotte.  I didn't know her so well in Honduras, but she seems more highly strung and anxious than she did in the laid back Carrbbean.  Letting down her 'hair' with the girls I think has given her a fresh lease of life.

Janina, who is German, by nationality is a forceful, forthright, wonderful woman, with a great sense of joie de vivre and is certainly not shy in coming forward.  Her and her husband (who was her student when she dive instructed him on the island) own a kayaking company and have just finished building their own house.

I had a wonderful time with them..

It is so true that no matter how big the time difference if you are friends with someone.. then you are FRIENDS.  Despite 8 years since we last met, we reconnected like it was only yesterday!

Just wonderful!

Do you fancy me? If not.. my friend fancies you!

Leo and Fred.......................

It all started with my friend Facebooking me saying that a friend of hers, Leo,  was making his way in his camper van up north and putting me in contact with him as a friendly face.

Didn't think any more about it until I received a Facebook message to  let me know that he was on his way and would be arriving in Cairns in the next few days.

I looked at his photos on Facebook and saw a picture of a guy that I initially thought 'woohoo. he's not bad and then realised it wasn't him.. it was a friend'.

So I put off a bit seeing him and then I said I worked in Cairns so could meet up for him for lunch if he came to the Casino.  So a text message saying he was there was met by me bounding down to meet him and me seeing two heads sitting in the chairs.... the other one.. yep.. you guessed it.. the other guy in the picture, Fred. (Definitely 'Right said Fred!').

My interest was even more piqued when Leo mentioned that they were couch surfing at a man's house, who happened to be a gay naturalist  and as such they had been asked to respect the rules of the house by wearing no clothes around the house.  Leo chortled... it's OK, no one looks at any other people's  'bits'... followed by him then saying 'though you would be hard not to miss Fred's!".  (Woooer!! Missus! methinks!).

So after an hour chatting at a local coffee bar I invited them to stay at my house, since I was away and it was a shame to waste an empty house.

I ended up mostly talking to Leo, Fred was a sweety, smiled a lot, but Leo was definitely the 'mouth'.

So a few days later I get a call from Leo to make arrangements for their stay.

"Sooooo Rosie, do you like me?"
"Yes, of course, Leo, I wouldn't ask you to stay if I didn't'
"Well, no, kind of LIKE me"
"Oh (der!), ah, no, not in that way"
"So you don't like me in THAT kind of way"
"Err.. no Leo, but I think you are a lovely guy"
"So not a chance then"
"No, not a chance......."

"So what do you think about Fred?"
"Yes, I like Fred a lot"
"Aha, well Fred feels the same way about you"


So that was how the seeds were sown.  Made me laugh the way he made sure he really didn't stand a chance before doing the matchmaking thing with Fred!

I go back home on Fridays.. this particular Friday I just couldn't wait.  I couldn't wait to meet two girlfriends that I hadn't met for 8 years (one of the girls was the one that put me in contact with Leo), but the anticipation of seeing Fred and seeing where this was going to lead.

Another traveller with Leo and Fred they had picked up along the way was a Gordon Ramsay trained chef called Alex.  So that evening saw the six of us imbibing much alcohol and having a delicions dinner at my house.  Leo peaked too early and was asleep on the couch before you could say "Do you want another drink?".  The girls were tired after a long drive.  Alex disappeared somewhere, leaving Fred and me conveniently on the balcony.

Now, I wasn't drunk, but my brain cells are definitely not firing on all synapses when I try and recall what actually happened.  But to cut to the chase I remember us just getting close on the balcony and then the next memory was ending up in bed...  And all I can say is that it was wonderful.  I was getting so disillusioned with these young men (he's 25) thinking that sex is about doing an impersonation of a hammer drill.  Fred and I really connected on a very tender and emotional level and it was just beautiful.

The next morning they were all heading off - Fred is going to check out a hippy colony.  Before he left he asked for my phone number and said he would be a way for a while.  I asked how long and he said a couple of weeks.  I said.. only 2 weeks!  Though I can imagine with him being a bit of a wanderer that he could get caught very easily with life on a hippy commune.

There is very limited phone contact up North, so I sent him a message for when he was back in range... and hope that he meets me on the way back down!

Shocker II

Well… Here it goes  as a follow on from Shocker. (see earlier post) . we have the sequel .... Shocker II!

Was out on Saturday night and whose mohicanned head should bob up above the crowd?.. Alex

I pointed him out to Jackie – a very good friend I was with. (I had recounted the story of my shocker night to her, with much hilarity.. on her part... and a bit of embarrassment on my part!).

So seeing Alex, I thought I had better do the right thing and apologise for my wayward behaviour.  If nothing else, to clear the air, since we are obviously going to be bumping into each other in the future.

So I come out of hiding under the snooker table and went up and said ‘I am sssoooo sorry.. I was so drunk’….

When I realise that he was wazzocked himself and he didn’t seem to know what I was talking about… and just flung his arms around me like a long lost love saying my name.

So much for feeling awkward and embarrassed – I don’t think he even remembers.  Or if he did any alcohol he had consumed that night was doing  good job of stopping any synapses firing on that particular memory.  Perhaps it was so bad his mind had sub-consciously erased it to avoid being scarred for life!

So all good  (well kind of).  Jackie was prodding me to take it further with him, but after extricating myself from his hug, Jackie and I sauntered off together.  It’s not often I get to hang out with a girlfriendiIn the evenings, and we were having a lovely time together.

After another drink, a dance and a chat we sauntered back upstairs….  Just in time for me to see Sean being ejected by the bouncers .   Jackie gave me a nudge in the general direction of the exit to go and sort him out.. and somehow I ended up escorting one rather inebriated man back to my house.. a  5 minute walk ending up being more like half an hour as he pinballed down the pavement of Port Douglas.. with me in my high heels trying with all my might to keep the ricocheting body in vertical stance – no easy feat.

I do worry about the repercussions of taking inebriated men home… with memories of Phil (yep.. that’s another story) mistaking my wardrobe for a toilet (luckily I woke up in time to guide said disorientated man to the right place).  I obviously realise that sex is a no no.. and actually, sadly quite like the idea of spending the night with someone without having to go through all that extra hoo haaa.

So sure enough the moment the bed was there and a chance to get horizontal it was the bed bungy jump without the bungy and nose diving into the pillow.

So for the second Saturday in a row ended up sleeping with all my clothes on serenaded by drunken snores.
I was woken by my hand feeling wet… yep… looked in the direction of the wetness and there it was -  my bedroom had developed a water feature that looked suspiciously like those fountains of those little boys peeing.  There was an ever growing dark wet patch spreading across the duvet……

I jumped up and there I was at 4 in the morning with handfuls of tissues trying to ebb the flow as a steady trickle like a little bubbling brook was dribbling steadily out of the end.  Flashes of the Dutch story about the guy who put his finger in the dyke to stop the leak.. that wasn’t an option, but kept the tissues coming.
I only had one day, Sunday, to wash and dry all the sheets and duvets etc as I have more people renting the room on Wednesday and so all the linen has be ready. Yikes.

So at 5.00 am I am whipping off the coverlet and jamming it into the washing machine.  Praying  that it would be sunny day and not a rainy one, otherwise I wouldn’t have a hope of drying it in time.
The moment Alex awoke I rolled him over (luckily the king size bed is made up of two joined single mattresses) and took out the mattress for a good disinfect and clean (and dry).. plus all the sheets.. yep, so that was a romantic morning!

We did have a little kiss, cuddle and an intimate time, but when he asked me for a blow job I couldn’t face it…   Spent most of the night watching it wreak it’s destruction so it wasn’t exactly my best friend!  So I said ‘next time’..  

From the last time when he took off and disappeared before I woke up this time he was determined to hang on like a limpet.. as I cleaned and laundered around him he just lay on the other mattress not getting my subtle hint that probably his welcome had expired.

Well, I think all ended Ok..  he went off to work..  I don’t even think he knew that he had wet the bed.. he certainly didn’t mention anything to me or apologise.  I didn’t want to say anything to embarrass him.. so maybe it will be him coming to me next time with a ‘soooo sorry!’ .

Now I did mention a few things in this that you would have picked up on that last Saturday I had another bit of a shocker.. seems to be shockers all round at the moment.

After my mammoth rejection from Mr PADI… this downward sinking spiralling gut feel that all was not well I arrive back in Port Douglas and go out.  Who should wander in but an inebriated Paul… (previous blog Paul.. June 6th).  Now Paul is a player.. he certainly played with me.. but what does a good looking 26 year old want to do.. when he has girls throwing themselves over him!  Because I am a ‘friend’ we have had our shinnanigans and actually get on very well.  So we did have a chat.. I chatted.. he swayed and chatted! 

Now, the thing about pubs up here is that if one is one degree off the perpendicular .. or moving towards the 45 degree angle.. then being that the force of gravity is constant, but the imbibing and effects of alcohol isn’t… then ejection is guaranteed.

As such.. there was Paul being forcibly ejected from the premises.. with flip flops thrown unceremoniously after him.  So being the maternal, caring person that I am I collect his flip flops.. get a taxi.. and seat him in a taxi.  His pleading as he leant forward to ask me to come home with him I resisted until in his enthusiasm his leaning forward so much meant he put his torso on the handbrake and the car started to roll…….
I leapt the taxi driver.. and I leapt into the other side.

Went back to Paul’s then crashed on the bed.. and enjoyed just lying next to another body.. with nothing happening….  Except Paul’s rhythmic snoring.

So two Saturday nights in a row I have been seen to follow closely on the heels of an ejected drunken person.  The bouncers must be thinking that this is my modus operandi.. wait until a young man is drunk and ejected .. and then follow closely in pursuit … haha.. give me a few more years and I might have to think about that technique!

The answer - is painting oneself!

Well.. I am going to do some metaphysical painting! 

Even met a guy in the gym the other day who I met on an internet date.. and we got on so well... and then he never called again....   Seems he hitched up with an old school friend... He did text me after our chance meeting to say how much he had enjoyed our date!

So.. painting is the way to go...


Look, this isn't about getting men... it's about getting yourself!  

“You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy.”

Answers aren't in other people... but I think people.men can feel if you are searching for answers in them.

I am fine with men that I don't like...  and always seem to get a good balance there... but when I like a man... oooh dear... must remember that paintbrush!

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Watch Him Become Mesmerized In Your Presence When You Do This Rosie wang, If you're feeling insecure and anxious right now in your relationship - like at any moment it could tip over and all the juice could run out of it - I totally understand and have some real help for you. When a man who seemed so excited about me just sort of drifted away, I did the only thing I knew to do - I tried to make myself even more attractive to him. And the more I tried - the sexier I made myself look and act, the nicer I was, and the more "reasonable" I was - it seemed to push him away even more. I remember being shocked when a man, who all of my friends thought of as "beneath me," who'd never had a serious relationship, who told me himself how amazed he was that I even "liked" him, all of a sudden told me he didn't want to be with me anymore. He Couldn't Explain - There Were No Reasons It was as though he were "opting out." And then - within the week - he wanted to be friends, made "friend" dates with me, came over to my apartment, and tried to have sex with me! If He's Drifting Away, You Need A New Approach To "Snap" Him Back When a man is stressed by things that have nothing to do with you, he stops paying attention. And, it's in this moment that we women do exactly the wrong thing. We try to make him feel better. Sounds like the right thing to do - only all it does is have the opposite effect, and actually ends up stopping his attraction for us. What we need to do most of all, when he's drifting away, is to ramp up the attraction - to get his attention back. My Modern Siren video program will show you exactly how to recapture your feminine power and be so compelling and irresistible that he'll forget everything else on his mind and focus on you. Learn More I'd never been more confused in my life. I clearly knew nothing about men then. I had attracted him - but in only a physical way. In an emotional way, I'd repelled him. It took me years and years to understand what that was all about (and to realize how lucky I was that he'd shown me his true colors so early in the relationship), and though I'm so glad that never worked out, I know now what I might have done and not done that would have made me feel so much better, and that would have turned the tables so I was the one with the choice, and not him. The Difference Between A Man Just Liking You... And Falling In Love With You Now, I know and can share with you exactly how to create an irresistibly magnetic way of being with a man that connects with him in his heart. This is what my Modern Siren program is all about. Watch Modern Siren In a minute, I'm going to give you a Tool that will help you get started on your way to drawing in every man you meet including the one you may already be with. It sounds kind of fanciful, but it's actually very practical. Tool: Paint Yourself In Love First, let's look at what I was doing with this man that pushed him away, and what you're likely doing that isn't working for you: I looked at him as a man I wanted and didn't want to lose. I looked at him as holding something I wanted. I looked at his face, his body, all of him - and I didn't really see him - I only saw what it was I wanted from him. And so I moved, thought, acted, spoke and felt fast. It was as though every moment was a piece of my storybook idea of "relationship." I had decided that since he was "beneath me," he was easy. I thought that I could have whatever I wanted from him, because that's what he said, and that's what my friends said. But, truthfully, I didn't believe it. I felt lower than low on the totem pole of life and love - and I just felt lucky to have him around at all. I was looking to him to make everything - including me - okay. Now, I want you to look at your man - in your imagination - and experience how you feel when you look at him. Imagine he's watching you, and he's Leaning Forward to you. Do you feel longing and pining? Is it like a clenching in your heart, a sort of silent begging him to stop all his nonsense and just make everything Okay? And, can you feel your heart and your mind moving fast, trying to cut all the corners and just close the deal? Just get it all squared away, finalized - okay? Well, It's This Energy - The Vibe - That Pushes A Man Away And, no matter how hard we try to keep it under control, he can feel it. Even if it's not strong enough to actually push him away - it will keep him away. It will keep the relationship in a stuck place, where the attraction just isn't strong enough to push him over the edge - into falling in love and feeling intensely devoted to you forever. Creating this kind of attraction is sort of magical. It requires you getting out of that mind set where your man holds some kind of "keys" to your happiness - and putting the keys in your own hands. And it requires an attention to details. So, Here's Where "Painting" Comes In - Try This: 1. Take a cup of water and go outside to a tree, or a bush, or a flower, or a statue. 2. Now, you're going to use your fingers for a "brush." So dip your finger into the water, and then "paint" the tree or the flower or statue or the leaf with the water - very, very slowly and carefully - watching every single stroke you make, feeling every single stroke you make, noticing every single tiny bit of the tree bark, or the flower petal, or the leaf. Go so slowly that you feel like you're going in slow motion - and make sure you're aware of every second that passes - and that all your attention is on the water going onto the tree, the flower, the piece of fruit hanging from a branch. Pretend the water is love, and you're painting this tree trunk, branch, fruit, flower, statue, with love - literally. 3. Now, imagine your man is standing in front of you. Lean back, open ("Unzipper") your heart, arms down, palms out, focus on your pelvis, relax your shoulders, smile. Imagine him just standing there, smiling at you. Feel what you feel. Just doing this will change your vibe so that you become more of an "invitation" to your man. Now... 4. Go to a mirror and while you're watching your reflection in the mirror, Paint Yourself. Paint Yourself exactly the way you did the tree trunk or the flower or leaf or statue. Touch yourself gently and lovingly, and experience each stroke as if it were magical. Pay attention to what you see and what you feel. Paint each hair, each tiny bit of your face, your shoulders, your whole naked body if you have the time. If you have only a short bit of time (please do this Tool often) - really focus in on the detail of one small part of you - your eyelashes, your forehead, your shoulder, your mouth... Keep breathing, keep Leaning Back, keep stroking yourself slowly, carefully - each tiny detail. Pay attention to yourself - really get into this process of Painting Yourself With Love - moment by moment. 5. Imagine your man, or an imaginary man is standing next to you. Imagine he's watching you. Let him watch you slowly and lovingly Paint Yourself With Love. Imagine him standing there, smiling, leaning forward, and watching you Paint Yourself With Love - and imagine he is mesmerized (because he certainly would be if you were to Love Yourself like this in his presence in real life...) Now... 6. Carry this image and this experience around with you everywhere. Imagine yourself painting yourself wherever you are - in the market, at the drugstore, in the restaurant, and every moment you're with your man - and, this is important... Even if he's not even looking at you. Even if he seems to be distracted. Even if you can feel yourself being jealous or upset or hurt by what he's doing or not doing. Imagine him watching you Paint Yourself With Love, and imagine everyone in the place admiring you for Painting Yourself. Imagine everyone wanting to touch you and stroke you or take out a brush and Paint You With Love. How does that feel? What Makes This Tool So Powerful Is That It's So Specific It's something you can imagine in great detail, and that you can experience emotionally. So, how will this make you more attractive to him on a deep, emotional level? Because a man is not interested in experiencing you loving him. He's interested in experiencing you loving yourself when he's loving you! He's completely captivated by a woman who is so trusting of him, so open to him, that she could experience her deepest pleasure when she's with him. And this is what you want to do. You will wrap him around your little finger, and activate your powerful Inner Siren if you can love yourself in his presence. He will be "blown away," and never, ever want to step away from you.