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Haha... now I know what this is for.. it's Stevie's personal sign... it's his moustache!

My personal sign in reply is :)B (his pet name for me is jugalugs!)

Yes, I have been seeing a lot of Stevie recently..

On our second meeting we discussed our lives with some more personal detail and I sadly found out that his trip to Finland that I was under the impression was just a 'trip' was 6 months.   The reason for the trip - his 'ex'girlfriend is going to give birth to his daughter (already named as well!).

The reason why I write 'ex' is because after our more in-depth discussions I consider that even though they have split up I consider that he still cares for her.  The reason why they split... he hated living in Finland after 3 years and despite saying that she would come to Australia with him, she never intended to live here. So there was no personal breakdowns like affairs, personality clashes, just a geographical difference.

I have to admit that I do enjoy his company and am probably pushing a little too hard to make it work like a relationship, with the obvious feeling that I am leading myself into an emotional u turn in that I am going to have to gird my emotional loins when he does finally leave in a couple of weeks to embark on his emotional Fatherhood journey.

Last Tuesday I invited him to $10 pizza night at Rattle & Hum, a bar here, to meet my Finnish girlfriend Veera.  I know that he is trying to keep up his Finnish for when he goes back, so thought they might enjoy meeting and talking to each other.

I texted him Tuesday am if he was up for it and he replied by text 'Don't think so?'

By coincidence I had a text from Simon asking if I could make it over Tuesday or Thursday as he was due to work away for a week and wanted to see me before he went.

So.... with a negative response from Stevie, a glowing invitation from the elusive Simon... and me struggling with my conscience and reminding myself that I am not a relationship and the normal rules don't really apply with regards to loyalty.  I got in my car at 5.30 and turned out the drive.. and after only 50m spotted Stevie passing me in the other direction.  I pulled over and thought I better call him... "Where are you going?" - "I am by your front door"... Eeeeeek! Methinks.. I turn round and hastily text Simon to tell him that I can't make it as I have to help a friend out with a broken car... just didn't quite know how to come up with anything better and met with Stevie.  First question was  "I didn't think you could make it... ".  His message was not in the negative apparently, but when fully decoded meant that he was coming but it depended what time he finished work.  Aaaah the joys of the ambiguous text message.

So we go over and Veera and Stevie have a brief chat in some strange language that
I took to be Finnish.  Then he saw a friend there and that was it .. he was off chatting with his friend.

So after my friends left it was me and Stevie with friend. Where the evening continued with more drinking culminating with an invite back to a couple on their honeymoon inviting us back to their penthouse at a local 5 star hotel.  I was ignorant to this until a taxi pulled up as i was walking down the road filled with people, no sign of Stevie, me confused with too much alcohol what was happening and decided to leave it as Stevie's friend was trying to wave me over to get in the the taxi.

A knock the next morning at 7.00am was Stevie saying that they had just continued drinking, ended up in the jacuzzi... him rather embarrassingly, throwing off his shorts and walking out and finding everyone else all wearing trunks (he was used to the Finnish way of jaccuzzi dressing).  Seems he spent the night sleeping under a bush but that he had left behind his keys (car, lockable storage units, tool chest), wallet (no money in it) and a shirt.  "Rosie, can you find out if the hotel has my belongings.  "OK, what room number were you in?" - Don't know "What was the name of the people" - Don't know, "What was the view - the golf course, or the pool" - Don't know it was dark...Oh  joy!

So the next day was spent by him trying to replace his keys as he couldn't work without access (I gave him a lift back to his place to pick up his spare truck key). Also he went to sleep about 5ish then got up got in his truck and went home about 7.00.

I enjoy his company, though have spent rather a lot of time drinking and then watching him fall to sleep as he recuperates!  I was invited to a BBQ on Saturday by some friends and I asked if I could bring a friend.

So last night we arrive at 8.30 (I had to work and so only finished at 5.30) and it's an hour drive.  Didn't do too badly putting on makeup, shower, and picking up Stevie.

I decided to try and make up for lost time on the drinking front ...... ended up with the BBQ attendees moving the party to Gilligans.. the local night club.  More like a room full of heaving bodies! And as I was happily a bit drunk by that time I was also getting a bit drunken and emotional.  Finding Stevie chatting to a spurious girl was not a sight that I really wanted to see, though I think it was probably harmless, but I think he was a bit defensive about it, which got my heckles up a little.

I can remember getting back to my friends place... and despite my drunken comments 'what are those keys doing on my key ring' (not realising that they were the keys that Mel gave me to get in ).. I had to charge the phone up so I could call Mel last night to let me in... oh dear.. drunk!

Rather embarrassing was Mel this morning saying that her desk in the study was covered in water (luckily it didn't go over the computer or the electrics).  I said that it could have been a spilt glass of water .. or rather more ominously... urine.   She said who had ever done it knew  - as there was a towel that had been used to try and mop it up.  After more research she said that it was urine... I called Stevie in and just mentioned that there was a lot of 'water' in here and he looked totally surprised by it.. so it only left Mark, Mel's boyfriend.

I don't think Stevie was that drunk and he did seem genuinely surprised.  Mark, Mel said, was not a good drinker and had had a lot to drink last night.... so there's that big question mark hanging like the sword of Damaclese hanging over who could have done it....

We had a lovely drive back ... it's so beautiful here and Steve bought me lunch overlooking the beautiful Ellis Beach.



 I dropped him at home where he proceeded to go to bed at 1.00 for a short nap with the plan to wake up at 2.00 and go to the Creek for a swim.  By 4.00 he was still sleeping.. I was climbing up the walls with the lack of inertia, the sweaty heat and frustration of us not doing anything so I left.  At 7.00pm I get a knock at home.. Stevie collecting his bag that I left in the car.. a quick case of grab the bag and then he drove home.  No coming in for a chat, or staying for the night.  I think he was in 'going to work' mode... which seems that staying here and work mode are not compatible.

Well, we will see... he's off in two weeks.. and in my life... they say a week is a long time in politics.. it's certainly a long time in my life...