The 'man' situation

So what about a man?

The sign around my neck now shouts in neon lights ‘single’. A status that is fitting me as snugly as a morbidly obese fitting bikini. Shaking off all my built up reflexes of loyalty and fidelity that I have had in the last 6 years to now live with gay abandon (or not, as in my case) through the broken shackles of new singledom is a daunting task. Not being a spring chicken and feeling even a little on the other side of being a cougar, but with the tastes of someone half my age.. is going to be no easy task. Despite my ongoing dicrepidness I have no liking for bald pates, receding hairlines, wrinkles, middle age spreads or bad teeth. Oh dear, age has not made me less superficial!

So I have launched myself at the singles situation, task in hand, in a business like manner, Not wishing to spend any money (and hoping equally that the men I am trying to attract also wouldn’t want to spend money, not out of lack of it, but more like someone

not being that desperate to want to spend any, but more out of curiousity) I have enlisted the help of modern technology.

So enter Plenty of Fish dating website. My first experience of the joys of our new 21^st technological society. Very strange putting yourself onto the dating market.. Where’s the best photos (I have 4 – one of which is nearly 10 years old. I even have one photo that has ‘TRIAL’ across my forehead – which has raised a few queries about whether I had gone to prison. This was a special software for ‘enhancing’ photos – retouching software that could change Kathy Bates into Angelina. I decided to use the trial software (I didn’t purchase it) hence why it looks like I have a TRIAL tattoo on my forehead!

Not only is this medium for finding that prospective and elusive ‘soul’ partner, but as I am finding out is also a great arena for my perverse sense of humour. I don’t know if it is morally correct to mock the afflicted, but just how much does this appeal to my wicked sense of humour! And so here are a few choice examples for your delectation and delight. The awful thing is that I spend more time looking at these ones and if I click on a photo it shows the recipient that ‘I’m interested’. I wonder if I there’s someone posting on to their blog this picture of a strange woman with ‘TRIAL’ across her forehead.

Picture on right.. Eat your heart out James Bond.. a man that can

wear a small BCD despite being an XL and do all that whilst his mask is filling with water.

This one's handle is 'Romeo' aged 44 (yes. if he is 44 I'm 21)

Do you think he comes with his own teeth?

This one's a worry - he says he is a miner.. but is posing in his security uniform. I think what he is looking for is a housekeeper judging by his environs.

Saturday night… out at the local bar – a real den of backpackers, drunkenss, wanton hedonism, drug induced jolliness. An outside balcony with enforced mingling policy – so many people literally crammed check to jowel (some cases lip to lip) that it’s hard not to talk to people! In the midst of the blanket of heads I heard a ‘hello Rosie’. And there was James the gardener and Thai boxer (very Lady Chatterley!) a cheeky smile rising out of muscled shoulders . I met him 6 months ago, and he ended up coming back to my place – where we then proceeded to google plant names and that was that. I was still with the ex, so made it clear there was to be no googling on any of my ‘bits’ that night. Well, he did come back and in my rather inebriated state, no googling took place – but I did write a rather drunken name of a plant he recommended for my garden.

What do you do on a Saturday night out.. write plant names when drunk of course!

We then ended up in one of those drunken shambolic fall into bed sex sessions. Don’t remember too much, except that it was naughty but nice. Good to feel that I am back on my feet (or back?). He does push those ‘naughty’ buttons for me – he is a total dead loss, interesting, but erratic and quite fascinating. But very easily definitely no complications – though he is the type who would call round drunk at all hours and turn up un announced so not sure if I have opened a can of worms.

As a footnote (literally) 2 days later I find his mismatching socks in the back garden decorating my tropical foliage - the mind boggles or is this modern gardening?

So on reflection – I have lost my loyalty virginity to my ex. But sadly, just wish I didn’t have to. One thing about our relationship ironically was that he was so just spot on sexually – very giving and had me down to a tee and we just ‘clicked’. Plus I won’t mention anything about a baby’s arm!

Next morning was rather abrupt as I had to get him out of the house – as I had a breakfast date! Some irony trying to get rid of someone that you have just slept with to meet someone else as a prospective partner!

See on next blog how my Internet dates went...

Well I read an article which is quite true.. that we are all geared to fall in love.. but not much is covered on trying to fall out of love. Trying to reverse all procedures like trying to push a rewind on your emotional tape cassette.

I have two more dates tomorrow (at present I have 8 people I am chatting with) so lowdown:

1. Matt 33, meeting tomorrow for lunch – he works in IT/telecommunications
2. David – meeting tomorrow later on on (got a bit confused at some point with David and Matt so almost made a terrible mistake and thought I was talking to one person.. could have been interesting having two people turn up at the same time!)
3. Mike – who I met for breakafst on Sunday
4. John – photographer – lives about 1500 km away
5. Natt – very hunky photo – he is 28 but he is interested in meeting up – lives about 1,000 km away
6. Matt – not such a good photo.. but he raved and loved my profile and called me an intelligent woman.
7. Scuba Guy– only in contact with him as he is a keen scuba diver.. so thought it would be good to meet up and go diving perhaps
8. Nut Farmer – can’t meet until November as he is busy studying.
9. Robbo – looks lovely – posing with a lion cub – but even though we did message before , no response from him since I got back.

So sorting through the wheat and chaff, I suppose it could be a game of numbers, I don’t expect to meet ‘the one’ but hopefully will come out of this with some friends.