Thursday, November 10, 2011

VW Beetling in Port






I did mention in a previous blog about buying a car. A bit of an indulgence, but here in Port it’s a bit like being on an island.. so my release to drive to the big smoke does calm down the island fever.


Nothing better than radio on high volume driving along the Captain Cook Highway and International World Heritage site. With the passing scenery of mountains, rain forests and fern encrusted crags on one side and the Coral Sea lapping on the other.



My first VW was a light eggshell blue but I selected a beautiful metallic lagoon sea light blue that I wanted it recoloured with. My friend who was a sprayer said he would do it for me, which he duly did. On going to pick up the car I was presented with a dark green swamp green, not my blue lagoon blue.


Volkswagen Beetle 1600

Being the oil hungry beast that it was and my mechanical negligence I did manage to blow up the very imaginatively named 'back end' one unfortunate trip down the M1 Motorway with its final gasping splutter being an almighty explosion of metal parts exploding from the ruptured engine.


Another friend who was a mechanic offered to organise putting a new engine in. 500 pounds later and the new engine was duly fitted. I start the engine up, drive 100 metres down the road and with a grating metal noise and splutter my car died (very similar to the dying sounds of the last one!). Never to be resurrected again. My ‘new’ engine was a reconditioned second hand engine with no warranty and was advised that 'that was that'.


After the disasters above, and a freezing 4 hour journey to Manchester from London wrapped in sleeping bags (heater.. what heater?) my maximum speed 50 mph Beetle trundled into my car history memory.



Also a reason I was so mortified about the ‘swamp green’ colour was that a friend of mine swore on all that was sacred (which thinking about him now.. wasn’t very much!) that green cars were bad luck. A theory all backed up and enforced when he was given a new GREEN company car, despite his protestations. He had had it a week and turned up to Rugby practice. Unbeknown to him the wheels disturbed the embers of a fire that had been lit. He found out when his car became less green and more red and orange from the fire ball that then rapidly engulfed it.


And so it was I bid goodbye to my mean green machine. The only time I have sold a car where it had to be trailered away – not quite one careful lady owner.


From that moment on I loved Beetles, but decided that one day I would like one with the personality but without the bad aspect of vintage and a sea lagoon aqua blue....


So enter my new car…


Sitting there just smiling at me in the showroom. It wasn’t even on the sales lot – it was awaiting it’s tarting up before being displayed.



So in my spontaneous way (Ok, I did do some research on the internet on prices and been to every other car showroom in Cairns) I said I would take it.


These are the points that I wanted addressed in its tarting up, which they were doing post sale:


  • Chip in windscreen to be mended
  • Knob for internal wing mirror correction to be replaced
  • Clunks when steering wheel right over to right or left
  • Dashboard sticky (for some reason the surface of the dashboard and everywhere black feels like someone has projectile vomited marmalade – so sticky!)
  • Electric 12v lighter doesn’t work

  • Handle for the wing mirror adjustments inside missing


On getting it back from ‘tarting up’ the only thing fixed was the 12v lighter and the knob for the wing mirror.


So back again for the rest.


After ‘back again’


Windscreen chip mended


Given a bottle of solution that was the ‘solution’ to my stickiness.


And now the car was coughing out black pieces grease impregnated foam from the left air vent that was alighting delicately on the light beige upholstery leaving grubby black specks.


I asked for the clunk to be looked into – but they said they would need the car for a while.


I said that I had no form of transport. After putting their foot down and saying that they couldn’t give me a replacement. As I sat in my car before I drove off I put the A/C on and there was a grating and grinding sound…. Seems the fan had broken – so out comes the guy from the car dealer and says - I can hear that noise all the way from my office.. "OK we will take the car to look at it.. have one of ours to drive……………."




So enter the Forester my replacement car for a week – now who would have thought it was straight off a car sales yard. I did think that maybe if I sold it I could get some commission!


So after a week collect my beloved blue beetle. A/C doesn’t make sound.. .but yes, the steering still ‘clunks’.


Parked my car overnight in Port Douglas High Street – big mistake – under the trees where all the paraqueets spend the night.


Notice in this movie.. where the empty parking spaces are…… oh how wise it is to learn by experience!




What my car looked like the next morning……….



The WHOLE car covered in quick setting, hard paraqueet bird shit. Managed to make out the outside world through the blobs on the windscreen to make it home. Googled how to get bird shit off a car without also taking off the paintwork.. that could be a new problem.. the spotted VW Beetle!


All bird shit very carefully removed and then the next weekend….. Came out on a Saturday morning to find my windscreen smashed…..




With my CSI investigative skills it looked to be caused by the rounded end of a full beer bottle. Somebody must have thrown a bottle of beer and I landed awkwardly on my windscreen. Sods law is that I had to park it in the path because my car port was full of flat pack kitchen boxes.


So it was driving round.. not quite through rose tinted spectacles..more like crazed tainted windscreen!


So the next week back to Cairns for a new windscreen at $250 (don’t you just love throwing money into that proverbial bottomless bucket!).


So finally, last weekend went to a garage to see about my clunking steering. The garage got it up on the ramps fiddled with a few bolts and c’est la vie .. apparently.


The raining greasy foam spitting out the air vents was supposed to abate with time - "just drive it with the vents on full and this should clear it"


By the afternoon of yesterday I had returned to the garage with the following problems:

The ABS warning light and the handbrake light don’t go off

And another problem … the AC is now not working!

And to add insult to injury now ALL the air vents are spewing out dirty pieces of black impregnated greasy foam!


Is this a blue car now masquerading as a green one? Has my swamp challenged previous car now metamorphosised into my smiling blue one…?


Still, one thing less after hours of rigourous scrubbing my dashboard is now non stick!


I still love driving my aqua herbie. People know are getting to know me and my car.. people coming up and saying – I saw your car by the pool, or “has your car broken down it has been on the side of the road for a few days” (mmm that was after my little breathalyzer incident, where I was unable to move the car for 48 hours according to law!).


One final incident – I went to pick up my car after leaving it overnight (not under the paraqueet tree) early one morning. The owner of the shop said that he saw a tree frog on my car and helped it into the nearby shrubbery, He said it was a sign of good luck!



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