I hadn't seen him since our return from Tolga and since he was ill Saturday night, Sunday night.. and he was leaving Tuesday, Monday night time was moving on.
I did kind of force the issue on Monday... me and my tenaciousness tch tch!
I rang him on the afternoon of Monday and he said he was feeling better but running around sorting out last minute things and we would meet up later that night (yeehah! methinks)
I text him at 5.00 saying that he could come round to dinner and watch a movie.
His reply '2 sick gunna stay home still got a bit 2 do might c ya when I get back ok take care :-P stevo
My reply in my mind.. fuck that! My reply in text:
That's a shame.. Hope u feel better tomorrow. Would have liked to have seen u before u left but I understand. I will try and call you. Find texts a bit impersonal to say goodbye :)B
Then he calls me.... at around 7.30pm to say that he has finished and is at home.
So I say I will come over to say goodbye.
I get in the car and whizz over the 10km to Cooya Beach to see him.
On the way through the driving rain on the road before his house (which is usually a 120km speed road) I luckily see in time a white object in the middle of the road. I swerve in time to avoid it and then think..."that was a strange shape"... I reverse up and get out of the car and see.....
 |
| The very tame Barn Owl.. with a death wish |
As I move toward it, it just stands there.. even when I pick it up it doesn't move. I am worried that it has a bad wing so I place it in the car and drive round the corner to Stevie's house.
When I arrive Stevie comes to have a look so we are both standing there once I managed to locate the owl who was well tucked up in the footwell. He was happily perched on my fingers and arm and even poised for a photo!
Then when Stevie took him on the flat of his hand and lifted up his arm ... it just casually stretched its wings and off it flew! So no need to ring the animal rescue place.
I spent a pleasant hour with Stevie and then he walked me to the car (didn't want to outstay my welcome). He kissed me on the cheek and said goodbye.. I kept my face up which he knows means that I want a kiss on the lips.. which he duly gave me - well, I do consider something a little more personal and intimate for a goodbye than a cursory kiss on the cheek! I uttered a 'well we had some fun' and with dignity got in my car and drove away.
Steve joked to text him if I saw the owl again.
I turned the corner from his house (50m) away and there at the side of the road (I suppose better than the middle!) was the owl. I was concerned about this owl's complete lack of road sense, especially since Stevie said that he had seen the owl before hanging around the roads. I didn't want this owl to end up as road kill, so I approached it again with an idea to perhaps get it repatriated away from roads. But I think he took one look at my face thought 'not that bleedin mad woman again' and he retreated by walking in awkward owl waddle into the long grass of the verge, where I left him.
No sooner had I got home my phone went - it was Stevie.... can I give him a lift to the airport tomorrow!
So much for fond farewells!
So the next morning I go round to pick him up and take him the hour drive to Cairns airport.
We had a coffee and a pleasant time and then... yep.. that time to say goodbye AGAIN!
I girded my loins and said 'right I'm off now' we stood up.. I proffered my cheek... to kiss... whereupon he turned my face to kiss me on my lips... I felt tears whelling said..a goodbye and good luck (in not too much of a high pitched voice) and walked off head held high, whilst frantically looking for the exit which I couldn't find.. and was so worried that I walked off the wrong way .. and then would have to walk back with my head held by as I have to walk back passed him again and then say another wavy goodbye. Luckily the exit was in the direction that I turned so I could make a clean directional movement with just my back view disappearing off.....(I had purposely worn a silky dress with an open plunging back as I know how much he liked my back.. so knew my rear view retreating would be good... though thinking about it now.. he was sitting with his back to my retreat.. oh well!).
I don't know what the real story is with him.. he opened his wallet up at the coffee bar and there is a picture of him next to a picture of his Finnish girlfriend. Also in his bedroom there is a picture of him and his girlfriend in a frame on the sideboard. I know that he loves her, but can't be with her.. but with a baby on the way.. who knows. I said for him not to bother to contact me and then U turned and said 'you know how to contact me'. He hasn't got a return ticket, so what will happen in 6 months is anyone's guess when he said he will return. So whether he comes back sooner or later than that.. well... time will tell.
I know what you are thinking... so what does his girlfriend look like?... Well.. to be honest and objective I have to say I wasn't too impressed. She is definitely blond, a bit heavy set, but certainly not a girl that you would immediately from her image say was stunning or beautiful...
So Stevie and me, yes, he was a bit of a loose cannon for obvious reasons, but despite the shortness of our relationship I have to say that finally I found a man who I so enjoyed being with.. his nickname for me was Sooki lala' and he called my bottom 'Fred'. We laughed together and he was open in communicating his feelings and we somehow did click mentally and physically. He was never shy in extolling my good points.. even enthusing to his brother how smooth my skin was.. and I had them both 'wowing!!' as they felt my skin. I was a little more coy when he extolled with equal enthusiasm 'and guess how old she is..you'll never guess!' not only to his brother.. but all the frequenters of the local hostelry! He came out with how beautiful he thought I was and loved my bum, my back, my tum (eeek!), my legs, my skin.. and loved it when I tied my hair back as it showed off my face. He would ensure that when we arrived in a bar that I had a stool or a seat (and no... not because if I got drunk it meant I didn't fall over). He liked my nails painted pink and loved when I wore ladylike dresses (didn't experiment with wearing my hair in a bun and donning spectacles!). There was a comfort between us, and I felt like he could accept me for who I was.. He was also inciteful and many a time he would say something and he would hit the nail on the head on how I was feeling without me expressing it. Despite his rough diamond upbringing he had a sensitive, open, intelligent side and a good moral code. Yep.. going to miss him...
I wondered about the symbolism of the owl on our last night of meeting up....
The Owl is at home in the night. It has great awareness of all that is around it at all times. It has predator vision, which means it sees clearly what it looks at. It has great intuition: it is the totem of psychics and clairvoyants. It has the courage to follow its instincts. Owl's medicine includes seeing behind masks, silent and swift movement, keen sight, messenger of secrets and omens, shape-shifting, link between the dark, unseen world and the world of light, comfort with shadow self, moon power, freedom.
Owls symbolize wisdom, the ability to see things that are hidden, stealth, swiftness, darkness, freedom, dreams, shape-shifting, secrets, omens, clairvoyance, astral projection, magick, deception, observation, total truth, night, death and misfortune. They are connected to the Underworld and the Moon. They are connected to The Goddess in general, as well as Athena, Mari, Lilith, Anath, Gwynn ap Nudd, Blodeuwedd, Yama and Cailleach. Barn Owl: Barn owls are the ones who see without seeing and hear without hearing; the ones who can hear what is not spoken and ones that see things without physical sight
Not quite sure what that means... but hopefully the death bit can be ignored or maybe it signifies an ending.
This was a song that both Stevie and I love.... it's a really happy sounding song but with rather sad undertones of losing someone in your life.. Somewhat apt as Stevie soars to the snows of Finland...
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