Had an interesting Christmas. My first ever one alone..
Most people I knew were spending it with their relatives or partners.
I tried to think of it as 'just another day'. So in the morning I attacked the garden and did some therapueutic gardening. Lunch I had some chicken... but I was a little upset when I happened to tidy up and found my Aunt Joan's ashes. I sat on the bed and hugged them with the reassuring thought that I spent Christmas with my Aunt, who I was very close to.... though did end up having a bit of a sob.
My friend did mention about going round there, but since she has got back with her husband he is keeping her on a tight leash so I don't see her much. A message from him saying 'Happy Christmas and see you in the New Year' gave me the message that I wasn't welcome to go round that day.
One benefit of being alone was that whilst everyone was having their Christmas lunch I popped across the road to Peppers Beach Resort and swam 1km unhindered by anybody in the pool.
I read my book and relaxed in the tropical sun and thought 'mmm not so bad for a Christmas day'.
Due to time difference I was able to spend time chatting with friends and relatives on Skype on the evening and enjoy their day.
Was relieved when I sank into bed that night that Christmas Day was over.
With now the dilemma of New Year fast approaching.
One white themed rave party or hanging out in a few bars didn't really grab me in any nether regions or inspire me.
My friend "P" (see 17th January post) (a friend who I met through Plenty of Fish a year ago almost to the day) emerged out of the woodwork so I invited him to Port Douglas. Now, just to be clear, we are purely friends and there has not been any physical contact or exchange of any bodily fluids.
I then thought that since I was staying in the backpackers (my house was being rented out) it wasn't condusive so I mentioned about going to see him in Cairns.
So that's how I found myself driving over to Cairns on Dec 24th with the instructions 'wear some clothes for the motorbike'. Looks like we were going to cruise on his Harley cruiser to see the fireworks. So after digging up some jeans and boots which haven't seen light of day in the tropical sun up here (if jeans and boot could blink and squint, they would have).
After arriving in my best attire with the comments "I can always dress down" he said that it wasn't perhaps such a good idea to drive a motorbike around on New Year's Eve. I was hoping he might take the Thunderbird.. imagining me seeing the new year in the seat of a 50's classic convertible, but no, I think is was the Land Rover we ended up riding in.
A lovely night was had chatting me drinking (he was driving so just watching me!) and I thoroughly enjoyed such lovely chilled, great company, wonderful sites for the last day of the year in the company of an interesting man.
"P" is an interesting man.. he was a multi-millionaire with a chain of electrical goods warehouses throughout Australia. He worked as a stripper on the boats in Sydney harbour and as a bouncer in the clubs in the notorious Kings Cross. He is South African, and after nearly dying and breaking his back in a fall and a long time of rehabilitation he now spends every morning watching the sunrise to appreciate each new day. I find him stimulating, interesting and easy to spend time with. I do get the feeling though that he can be rather intense at times and I think long term I would like somebody who was a little more open humoured and supportive, as I feel my old reflexes kicking in of making me hypercritical of myself as I feel that is how he is viewing me.. He is a very kind and considerate man and has a heart of gold. But, bottom line I don't think he feels anything towards me. I don't feel that extra je ne sais quoi of sparkle and warmth. So, I would rather be a friend with him than ruin it with a misguided foray into a more physical relationship. Maybe if he was a bit more endearing towards me or gave me the proper signs I might find myself encouraged to be more enthusiastic and would change my perspective.
Back at his house we sent to bed and it was lovely feeling him lying next to me (we have slept in the same bed together before). I snuggled a bit closer and our hands touched and I did feel a slight tingle of arousal.........
He was feeling his sap rising and as he turned to continue the urges he saw my beautiful face asleep and snoring!
(That's how he described it to me the next day)
The next morning I woke next to an empty space - he'd gone to see the sunrise with the dog.
On his return we went for a lovely breakfast overlooking the sea and a forest of palm trees....
What a fitting start to 2014!
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