Not knowing a soul.. a person... or an animal!
Bringing a bruised and battered heart under a cloud of sadness and exasperation, tinged with the tears of anger and frustration.
With the tune from Sick Puppies echoing in my mind.... it was time to Change.
I moved into my new house and started to put down roots.
There have been moments of sadness, stagnation, loneliness, helplessness and frustration.. but looking back retrospectively.. I HAVE DONE IT!
I have good friends here, a life that I have built here, a joy of loving myself and enjoying spending time with me. I don't want another relationship.. just good connections (which I have been lucky to have), but have been surprised that at my age I can find some confidence in realising that I am attractive to the opposite sex and that moving up here and thinking I would be the dusty middle age woman on the proverbial shelf has not happened. More importantly, I have some wonderful friends who I love and love me in return and this last year has been filled with a lot of laughter.
Work has been disappointing and I still have yet to find that 'niche'. I have trained as a commercial diver, as a marriage celebrant, started my own product range of insect repellents, bite relief and preventative products, and continued with my artwork and photography avenues. I have worked for two dive companies and ended the year marketing away from diving for the Pullman Hotel and Reef Casino back in an office, and being filmed for the second most successful programme for US TV. I write this today, wondering where my next job will come from and wanting to find a job with 'meaning' and really wanting to launch out by myself somehow.
Through the year I have also revamped my 'des res' here in Port Douglas and bought a property in Costa Rica (that I now am trying to sell as ongoing problems with it, make me feel that I bought a 'wrong un').
It has been a great 365 day journey for me... shedding 10 kilos, realising that I miss going to the gym, yoga, pilates and zumba and turning my lifestyle around .. for the first time in my life eating a good breakfast and living off mainly fruit and fresh veg... they say what you eat is what you feel.. so I must feel fruity and yep.. sometimes I do end up being a couch potato.. haha!
Having this blog and sharing it with you... nearly 2,000 hits later has been wonderful. Not only am I using this as a diary for me for my future. When I finally am confined in the old people's home I hope to relive this part of my life to my cackles and hopefully won't spit my false teeth out whilst laughing! I can read back over a section of my life.. to remember that yes.... it was lived!
The next blog shows the changes made to my house. I have also become a dab hand with a paint brush and it has been the first time I have put shelves up with a drill and laid the back patio in the back courtyard.
How wonderful is life on this journey of discovery!
As a foot note... I paid a surprise visit to my ex boyrfriend Scott, when I had a stopover in Sydney on my way back to Europe. He looked as I expected, his face reddened by drink, his hair receding and under the pump with stress from his business... We had a lovely cup of coffee and it was great to see him again. He advised me that he was expecting a son in January with his girlfriend. I said I wasn't surprised (His girlfriend didn't have a boyfriend for all the 7 years that I knew her and at 40 I knew she was desperate to start a family) and that he would be a great Father (I thought that was gracious of me) as I think he will always be a selfish and unempathetic boyfriend and partner. How people's lives move on.....
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